Hi, it's me again.. back with more questions..
I'm concerned because... the 'signs' na nararamdaman ko na may anxiety pa ko is my chest tightens and there's a weird feeling in my eyes when I look at things I feel disconnected from it..
but now, the tightening in my chest is gone and parang somehow I don't feel 'anxious' anymore but I still don't feel anything for him and it's driving me crazy because feeling ko 'gumaling' na ko pero wala pa rin akong nararamdaman for him.. that's IMPOSSIBLE because I NEED to feel for him again to be OKAY. Because that's the sign that I'm okay.. well, for me. Pero how do you know when you're cured of anxiety already? Kasi... everyday feels different. What I feel towards people and things have changed.. or parang wala pa rin akong nararamdaman na normalcy from before..
I'm still numb and stuff to the people and things that I love pero I've grown to accept it na sa ibang tao pero sa kanya.. parang WALA PA RIN AKONG NARARAMDAMAN di ko to kaya :'( gusto ko na maging tulad ng dati.. I cry everyday because I'm so tired of being numb and disconnected sa kanya. Alam ko kasi I KNOW IN MY HEAD and in my MIND that I love him pero di ko maramdaman sa body ko.. what does this mean? Nagsawa na ba talaga ako sa kanya? Di ko na ba talaga sya mahal? It's impossible talaga ( Pero ano ba naman magagawa ko.. I don't know what to do anymore and it's just so frustrating !
4 months na wala akong maramdaman para sa kanya sometimes I'm starting to lose hope minsan I wished that hindi nalang ako magising para di ko na maranasan na walang maramdaman sa kanya.. I'd rather be dead than not feel anything for him because I know nga na I love him pero DI KO TALAGA MARAMDAMAN :'(
I'm so desperate and I need a sure way to get my feelings back.. that's all I want