on Church Wedding: Pinoy and Chinese

[rage_within]

hi there. i know this might be a stupid question, but i would just like to confirm something. i have a Chinese girlfriend who i would like to marry soon. although she's no Catholic, she really thinks that church weddings are beautiful and good to experience. she always visit wedding websites to look at old chuches and lovely gowns.

it's not a big deal for me actually whether we get married sa pinas or sa China... or both. but, would a church wedding be possible for both of us?

many thanks in advanced.

[tantra]

I'm in the same situation as you...pero baliktad...*** future hubby ko is Chinese (as in walang religion) and I'm Catholic. I think a church wedding would be possible for you, but you better check on the priests that celebrates mix marriages. My uncle is a priest and he told me meron daw mga priests ngayon that officiates this kind of union. In China naman, you just need to sign a document, parang civil marriage satn, tas, you just invite your friends and family for lunch or dinner or sumthn, to like introduce you to everybody that you are already husband and wife. But I'm not sure whether the Catholic churches in China celebrates weddings though...we didn't get to ask on that yet...

[rage_within]

you're in shenzhen??? i came from Huizhou (2 years) and frequently visiting Shenzhen every weekend. kaso narito na ako sa Saudi since last month.

well, that is good news for me indeed. i think my girlfriend is interested on Catholic marriages... in churches. that's why napatanong na rin ako. but yes, parang civil wedding nga yung marriages sa kanila, then comes the big celebration with families and friends.

[GreatBop]

most chinese weddings are held in catholic churches naman eh.

traditional chinese wedding would not be legal here. dahil walang judge or priest. it just involes the guy coming in to the house of the bride and picking her up. and the same time giving respect to the ancestors of the bride.

anywhoo.. churches. pera lang naman ang hingi nyan eh.

[tantra]

rage_within: yup, i'm in shenzhen...you worked in huizhou ba? that's my fiance's hometown...=) if u don't mind my asking, is ur gf living in china? dati, we asked about having the wedding in phils, the china embassy in our country won't give him a certificate of no marriage/won't allow us to get married unless he has lived in pinas for 6 mos...i dunno whether this still apply, *** lalong nadelay ang aming kasal...

[chaosloveswink]

I think the non-catholic party will have to undergo catholic baptism and confirmation if they want to be wed in a catholic church. Other religion or sects will have a similar policy.

You can also opt to have a judge or mayor do the rites, but civil wedding lang ang lalabas.

[muddpie]

most chinese weddings are held in catholic churches naman eh.

traditional chinese wedding would not be legal here. dahil walang judge or priest. it just involes the guy coming in to the house of the bride and picking her up. and the same time giving respect to the ancestors of the bride.

You mean walang ritual man lang o registration?

[rage_within]

rage_within: yup, i'm in shenzhen...you worked in huizhou ba? that's my fiance's hometown...=) if u don't mind my asking, is ur gf living in china? dati, we asked about having the wedding in phils, the china embassy in our country won't give him a certificate of no marriage/won't allow us to get married unless he has lived in pinas for 6 mos...i dunno whether this still apply, *** lalong nadelay ang aming kasal...

oh really? yah... i worked in Daya bay area for 2 years. yes, she is living there... nasa Shenzhen sya ngayon, although tubong Ha er Bin sya (near Russia).

is that the case sa pinas? well, 6 months is a bit short, but of course given the scheds and stuffs, hassle nga.

[rage_within]

whoa, rage! you're getting married na pala. congrats in advance! souvenir ha.

Nye! Tagal pa po. He he… nagbabalak pa lamang at nagtatanong-tanong. But, many thanks in advanced din.

[marseilles]

Congratulations on your impending marriage!

With regard to the religion of the bride and groom, there are three forms of weddings in a Catholic church:

(1) wedding between bride and groom who are both baptized Catholic,
(2) wedding between a baptized Catholic and a Christian baptized in another denomination other than Catholic (e.g. baptized Protestant, etc.),
(3) wedding between a Catholic and someone who is not a Christian.

I'm not sure whether you fall under number 2 or number 3. Both of these are called "mixed marriages" in Catholic vocabulary.

Whether you fall under number 2 or number 3, you *can* have a wedding in a Catholic Church but you have to receive special permission for a mixed marriage.

First I would advise the two of you to think very carefully about your decision to have a Catholic sacramental wedding. For Catholicism, a wedding is not merely a legal contract but a sacrament that is binding for one's entire life. A Catholic wedding is an act of faith wherein the two spouses promise to give themselves fully to each other, patterning their lives after Christ's relationship with the church. One pragmatic implication of this is that there is no divorce in the Catholic Church, regardless of where you have your wedding (whether in the Philippines or in China). There are annulments, but these are only granted after a long (and expensive) investigation.

Secondly, part of having a Catholic wedding is the promise to raise your kids with a Catholic upbringing. In a mixed marriage, the Catholic person has to sign a document before the wedding promising to do everything in his power to raise their kids Catholic. Make sure that this is okay with your spouse.

Third, you both also have to promise to protect the integrity of faith of the Catholic party. This means that before your wedding your spouse has to agree to allow you to practise your Catholic faith and not to hinder you from doing so. On the other hand, you have to promise that you have removed any impediments that will cause you to lose your faith.

If after much prayer and discernment you decide you want to have a Catholic marriage, other things you will need to decide is whether you want your Church wedding to include a complete Mass or not. If it is a complete Nuptial Mass, your spouse will not be allowed to take Communion since she is not Catholic. Alternately, you can just have the wedding without a complete Mass: this will be comprised of just the readings and the Nuptial Rite, not including the Consecration and Communion.

I suggest you talk to your parish priest or a priest who specializes in family ministry about it so he can advise you further about this.