How can it be? How can it be that despite all that you’ve learned, you still commit mistakes? How can it be that regardless of all your attempts to keep your life simple, you’ll find out once again that you are in a brink of a chaotic and dismal life? How can you figure out the best way to deal with it?
You thought you’ve done everything right. And now it would surprise you to find out that you’re completely wrong. You’ve crossed all your Ts and dotted your Is. You’ve been very careful since you were a child, afraid of making mistakes so you made sure you were never wrong. You sacrificed a lot thinking you’ll get your reward in the end. You let go of many opportunities because you thought these will only distract you. But just one time, just another time, and everything will crumble because once again, you committed another mistake, another mistake that forced you to accept the fact that you erroneously read the cards on the table. You gave your best but all for naught.
What is the best formula? In what school of thought and communication should I enroll myself so I can understand? I need to understand why this keeps on happening to me. How do you keep the emptiness away every time the truth hits you? How can you keep the loneliness from hitting you without notice? How can you keep on going from living your daily boring life when all you have are fears and frustrations inside you, secrets you harbor in your mind, throbbing pain piercing your heart? How can I?