advice: Mahal ka pero ayaw magCOMMIT

[surge]

I just want to know ur opinion abt my situation now. My gf says that she loves me pero she cant promise me anything. And she cant commit. so sinabi ko lahat ng sama ng loob ko and i told her na ayoko ng lokohan. and kung pede wag na muna kami mag usap. The situation is shes married (nangyari to b4 ko pa sya nameet, and they're not in good terms nung asawa nya) pero nagsasama na lang sila for the kids ( 2kids). Sabi ko kukunin ko sya dito sa canada. Weve been together for more than 4 yrs. I call quit goodbye when she said na she cant promise me anything. ayaw daw nya na lumaki mga anak nya na hiwalay magulang. then sabi ko sa kanya ano mas gusto nya, lumaki mga anak nya na complete pero walang love? feeling ko lumabas pa kong masama at parang homewrecker. Sinabi ko lahat ng sama ng loob ko. and i told her to just get out of mylife kasi wala sya paninindigan. tama naman yun di ba? i love her so much. pero ayoko na maging *****.

[pianggot]

oh my gulay!!! Akala ko girlalush si thread starter, Guy-a-Hunk pala! Whew! Bilib ako *** on the kind of love you have...pero honestly pare, you're way too SELFISH! sorry ha.

Di naman masama magmahal, pero sa situation mo, malabo na siya makipag-commit talaga lalo sa mga demands coz she's married (for goodness sake!) plus 2 kids...

pare, unsolicited advise lang...sana pare do not covet that love that 's already been given to someone esp. binded by marriage. Kala ko babae lang pwede tawagin na homewrecker, pero it seems ikaw din (lalaki ka pa man din)...at talagang homewrecker dating mo pare lalo pa sa mga demands mo...sorry ha.

as *** ur "gf" told u, i can feel she wants and HOPES that her own family be in good terms someday.. di mo ba pwede i-wish sa kanya yon? Di ba mas tama you wish her family to be happy?

Alam ko di ka papayag, pero pare KARMA is very near to you sa ginagawa mo...you'll live a Half life, trust me...iba pag Diyos na humusga sa mga pansariling kagustuhan mo...di ka ba natatakot?? Kahit gano mo siya kamahal, the mere fact MAY ASAWA SIYA, mali pa rin..

the end doesn't justify the means pare

[st.anger]

i think all you can do now is to wait. it's not a good move to force her to make a choice. you'll just drive her away by pressuring her.

[surge]

thanks for the reply pianggot. pero just want to correct u. bago ko dumating sa buhay nya hiwalay na sila. Bago kami naging mag on ako pa nagsasabi sa kanya na ayusin nya. Pero ayaw na nya. Bago ako, nagka bf pa sya na ginamit lang sya. I was always there for her. Halos binigay ko nga lahat sa kanya. Lahat ng dapat ng gawin ng asawa nya binigay ko sa kanya, pati financial needs nya. With free travel, everything. And i will not pursue and i will really let her go if alam kong nasa mabuti syang kamay. Kaso hindi. Walang backbone yung tatay ng anak nya. Imagine umaasa pa sya sa magulang nya to support his family. Wala syang permanenteng trabaho at ninanakawan at pinagsisinungalingan pa nya ang asawa nya. and He's using his kids to blackmail my gf. My gf is always crying. And thanking me for being always there. pero my conscience is killing me. Sinabi ko sa kanya na bumalik na at nagbabago na asawa nya then why not give him a chance. Pero wala na daw mas gagrabe sa sakit na pilit mo lang pinapakisamahan ang isang taong pinipilit mo *** makasama dahil sa 2 bata. Anong klaseng tao yun. Pero i gave her up. Sinabi ko na kailan man di ako magiging homewrecker. ayusin na lang nya ang dapat ayusin. I offer her na kukunin ko sya dito sa canada pero, i think its unfair. Kaya id rather choose to be alone. Mahal na mahal ko sya thats why i let her go.

[surge]

......sinabihan ko sya ng masasakit na salita para tuluyang magalit sya sakin. She doesnt want me to go. I ask her, ano pa ang reason para mag stay ako. I was hurt by the words i told her lastnyt. pero yun na lang ang alam kong reason para totally magalit sya sakin. I want to text and call her to ask if shes ok, but its not the right thing to do. kailangan tiisin ko sya para makapag isip isip din sya. Its hard to accept. Pero ayoko na magpagamit. Napakamartyr ko. She was always crying bec she missed me so much. She realized that I was the only person who cared for her....sad narealize lang nya to ngayong malayo na ko sa kanya... Major reason of leaving the country is bec of her. Gusto ko ayusin nya ang pamilya nya. Pero she still keeps on calling me and textng me and begging me to be with her. Mahal ko lang sya kaya di ko sya matiis. Sabi ko sa kanya if thats what she wants then kukunin ko sya. Pero di kaya ng conscience ko na sa tuwing gabi naiisip ko na may kasama syang iba. I really want to talk to her and ask how is she. pero kailan ko sya tiisin and its killing me.

[kewl_freeme]

In the first place, you know that she's already commited and the fact that she is still married, ryt? Things are very complicated for both of you. All you have to do is wait for the right time. Or, leave her instead so that she can rebuild her home again.

[KIDKIDOW]

if u really do care for her; let her go and try her to work out whatever she has.. have u ever wondered why she's saying she miss u/love u in some cases..? dont u think na baka kailangan nya lang ng someone na mapagbabalingan to escape her from her problems.. or someone na mapaghihingahan? try to take distance; baka sakaling ma realise nya that she might need additional effort to work out the famil that she have..

gulat din ako nung malamang guy sya.. coz as far as i know and as per my experiences; GUY ANG HATE ANG COMMITMENTS..

[gruesome]

diba sabi ni redman dapat iwasan mga single mom

[surge]

thanks guys for the advice. Take distance, anlayo na nga namin sa isat isa. magkabilang mundo na kami. I decided to leave manila to take distance tlaga. Gusto ayusin nya dapat nya ayusin... masakit man pero iniiwasan ko na sya. No emails. text, phonecalls. but its killing me. I dont knw if im doin the ryt thing pero tama na din yun for her to realize. sana mahalin sya ng asawa nya at sana tumino na. coz if not, i myt endup getting her.

[samantha_jones]

surge: yaan mo na don't sell yourself short. kung talagang love ka niya and talaga hiwalay na sila dati pa edi sana sumama na siya sayo with the kids...pwede naman yun diba? hindi na reason ang kids to stay in a bad marriage kasi mas matrotrauma lang mga bata. well goodluck and hope you'll get what you deserve!

[KIDKIDOW]

thanks guys for the advice. Take distance, anlayo na nga namin sa isat isa. magkabilang mundo na kami. I decided to leave manila to take distance tlaga. Gusto ayusin nya dapat nya ayusin... masakit man pero iniiwasan ko na sya. No emails. text, phonecalls. but its killing me. I dont knw if im doin the ryt thing pero tama na din yun for her to realize. sana mahalin sya ng asawa nya at sana tumino na. coz if not, i myt endup getting her.

AMEN!!! Great Move...

[nalini]

You did just the right thing surge.

Indeed, it'll be for the best if you let her be. Let her and her husband sort out their problems, their differences. Without you in the picture, perhaps they can still work things out.

As for you, I think you're a great guy. I hope you find someone to love... without that guilty feeling that you stepped on somebody else's toes.

[dOnNa021]

..mahal ka pero ayaw mag-commit?..

..baka kze madame pa sya iniisip na responsibilities..hinde naman kaze ganon kadali 'yon..

[queenkatie]

she loves you (?), but not enought to commit with you...

t'was a good decision you made, since it's really hard to stay in a one-sided relationship.

you'll find someone better than her, hopefully someone who's willing to take risk with you na, goodluck!

[missfifty]

Let her go.. and decide for herself.. don't be too selfish to have her by yourself.. lalo na kung di talaga pwede.. I know it's really hard to let go someone.. but it's for the better..

[daisy1209]

loving her means letting go...if she is for you then she'll come back...if not she's ment for someone else..

"if loving you is all that means to me, then being happy is i hope you'll be"....

[kultosadako]

e what if the guy really loves the gurl...and then she doesnt wnt to hav any commitmnt.....but then the gurl has d feelings for the guy?.....what shd d guy and the gurl do?

[baklita]

ang katotohanan nyan ay kontrabida ang role mo sa buhay nya. unang-una there's no such thing as perfect marriage... and you being a friend took advantage of her downfall.

di ba dapat... don't intrude into the territory of marriage that's none of your business?

aihihihi!!!

baklita

[janelle11]

in this case u rili should let her go... sakit nga but its the right deccision, u did the right thing... kaya mo yan... u'll get over some time, ur a smart, great guy! and u deserve better! coz' if the gurl rili loved you she can just flew away with u in the first place... w/ her kids and start over, why does she have to sulk up and get stuck w/ her asawa... it's just futile!!!! if she worries abut her kids... they'll understand n man... and hahayz... newayz.. she's doubtful n man! unsure... well u cant wait forever! u cant waste ur time... let her go, and move on!!!!!

[BLue{}FairY]

kalimutan mo na ***... nand2 naman ako eh... available... single... ibenta ba sarili... nde biro lang ha pero kung seseryosohin mo ok lang... ako nga hirap ng kalagayan ko eh... basahin mo n *** yung thread ko... nde ko alam pano ko *** makakalimutan... sobrang mahal ko yung tao... at mahal nya rin ako... pero iba pinakasalan nya... n shotgun in short... ouch sakit talaga...