B-I-T-C-H-Y Statements Anyone? (PART 2)

[peeyaa79]

i've gotten to know someone thru missed call lang. tumawag sya but he was looking for a different person. until nagpakilala na. at first, okay naman yung mga conversations or exchanges thru sms. after a while, iba na yung personality. sobra pa makulet. he kept on telling me that we should meet already. sinabi ko na i'm really not interested. one night, nagtanong na naman, "kelan ba talaga tyo mag-mi-meet?" i told him, "you know what? i think you should sleep already. you might be able to see me in your dreams. goodnight!"

after that, i didn't answer his calls and text msgs anymore.

[City_Girl]

Woman to a guy singing in the office:

Woman: Can you sing 'Far, Far Away'?
Guy: How does it go?
Woman: No, I mean can you sing far, far away? Not here!

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To someone who was grumpy/*****y/belligerent:

"Well, somebody forgot her lithium today!"

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To someone who's arrogant/conceited:

"How do you fit in your car with such a big head?"

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Teenage girls in the intimate apparel section of a Dept. Store:

Teen1 to her flat-chested friend: "Excuse me, Miss, we don't have any training bras here."

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To someone staring:

"Take a picture. It lasts longer!"

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To someone complaining:

(In a sarcastic tone): "I'm sorry, but you must have thought I care." or "Oh well, life goes on...I feel for you."

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To someone really irritating:

"Are you tired of living?"

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To an ex begging to be taken back:

"Sorry, I don't recycle."

[infinite_trial]

ex: ganyan na pala mga nagjajapan nagiging suplada
me: of course, may taste na ako ngayon!

[ayane]

friend: pinagod nyo lang ako! did you know i spent 2 hours of my precious life working on those?!?
me: do i look like i care?

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talking about cute guys...

friend: hay nako. ganyan naman talaga pag cute or gwapo na guy eh. either taken or bakla.
me: (turning to another friend) kaya ka pala single.

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friend: ano ba? wala ka pa ring work!?
me: wala nga akong work pero mas marami naman akong pera sa'yo!

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me: sobra na ko magmura ngayon
friend: oo nga eh. buti na lang ako. di ako nagmumura.
me: oo. manyak ka lang.
friend: put@ngin@ mo!

*joseph, love you! peace tayo!*

[Posh21]

my former collegaue/friend na sobrang lakas manghingi ng yosi everyday... mula first break, lunch,last break at pati before umuwi...

sa lung center ng RCBC..

friend: uy, pa-bum ng yosi...
me: (medyo pissed off na)... P5 isang stick... bawal na humingi ang hindi bumibili
friend: ay naku, mamamatay ka sa kadamutan mo..
me: mamamatay ka sa kakuriputan mo... wag ka magbisyo kung wala kang pang-sustento!!!

[tantra]

meron akong blockmate nung college, sabay kami lagi umuuwi, hindi ko alam na sinisiraan nya ako behind my back kasi feeling nya may gusto sa akin yung crush nya (duh, kasalanan ko ba yun!), aba, nung nalaman ko na ang dami nya palang pinagkakalat tungkol sa akin...ang nasabi ko lang," She's such an ***hole! Ay mali, buti pa pala ang ***hole me silbi! "

[spiderdian]

*** isang officemate ko maganda, kamukha nga ni salma hayek e. sabi ko,"ang ganda-ganda mo talaga! kulang na lang *** foot spa..."

totoo **** e!

[total_amount]

got this one from U Tube:

one member is against Clay Aiken

another member replied : I bet Clay has more class and character in his little finger than you have in your entire body!!

hahahahaha.

[ziel_0303]

boy: wag kang mag-alala, hindi kita papatulan.
girl: halluer! gwapo ka ba?

friend1: sakit ng ulo ko, naulanan kc ako kanina eh.
friend2: alam mo ba ang konsepto ng payong?

a friend once commented on the picture of our common friend: "bakit ganyan ang itsura nya noh? parang painting na di maayos-ayos ang mukha."

[ziel_0303]

one of our profs is fond of name calling...

prof: Mga LANGAW kayo!

(so i did the buzzing sound tapos umikot ikot ako sa prof.)

prof: oh, anong iniikot-ikot mo jan?
me: e sir! ano bang iniikutan ng langaw?!

hahahaha!

^this is hilarious! nice one...

[pink_mist]

'eto nobela (para maintindihan nyo):

intern (me): wag mo munang pakainin sa 12 si nanay (the patient). 2pm na lang kasi kukunan ko sya ng dugo for cholesterol.
*****y nursing student: (sarcastically...to the patient) o nay, magugutom kayo ngayon kasi di ko daw kayo pakakainin.
me: (keeping my cool) sinabihan ko na sya kanina pa.
BNS: e paano kung tanungin ako ulit kung bakit? ako ang na-quequestion eh.
me: sabihin mo ako ang may sabi. at order ng resident.
BNS: eh ako nga ang naquequestion eh (moderately raising her voice)
me: sabihin mo ngang ako ang may sabi eh!! AT WAG NA WAG MO AKONG KWEKWESTYONIN! WAG NA WAG MO AKONG KWEKWESTYONIN!

*sabay storm out of the ward*

the nerve!

[donnapie]

Incident 1: Me being introduced to a classmate of my friend and i was not in the greatest of moods then... i just looked at the classmate and didn't acknowledge her...

Friend: Grabe ka naman... di mo man lang pinansin si ****

Me: O sige, next time mag eenroll ako sa Cora Doloroso para matuto ko ng right manners and good conduct...

Incident 2: At Pier One in Metrowalk... the place was full and we got a table that's really close to the speakers... we asked the waitress if we can transfer to a table that's empty but apparently reserved...

Waitress: Dapat ho kasi next time aga agahan nyo...

Me: Ok... sa susunod text kita pag on the way na kami (said in a really sarcastic tone)

Incident 3: One of my guy friends was talking to me about breaking up with his girlfriend... I am majorly pissed coz the girl is also my friend and he broke up with her without a reason...

Me: Why did you break up with ****? Ano ba talaga reason?

Friend: I dunno e... i feel that i just need space...

Me: Space? bat di ka mag astronaut? Dun madaming space...

Incident 4: Was in a mall and was trying to help my grandma get down the escalator... of course having poor eyesight and being old it was taking her some time to step on the escalator...

Girl Behind us: First time? (said in a really sarcastic tone)

I looked at her and said:

"Hindi... e ikaw? Matagal ka ng squatter?"

She was shocked ... good thing she knew when to back down...

Incident 5: At a college dance, i was sitting down and a guy comes up and chats me up... he was rambling on and on without him even introducing himself....

Me: (cuts him off midsentence and with an arched brow) Close tayo???

Incident 6: Had a schoolmate who used to be an artista... It so happened na i was going to use the payphone (Di pa uso mobile nito) and she was the one using it... I've been standing behind her for 20 minutes and it seems like she does not have a plan of putting down the phone within the next hour or so... Talk about courtesy di ba?

Me: (said in a calm, collected voice) Miss... matagal ka pa?

Celeb schoolmate: (sarcastic tone) hindi... mga one hour na lang...

Me: (really irritated already at this point) Ahhhhh.... bakit? sinong tatawagan mo? Si kuya germs sa That's entertainment? (said in a very mocking tone)...

Dami ko pang ganitong moments... mabait ako but can also be a total biatch pag wala sa mood and when the situation calls for it...

[d00mednow]

Nabasa ko na dito sa PEX ito (sa LMATV):

Natapakan ko yata ang utak mo...

[cootchicoo]

sinabi ko directly sa girl na "alam mo ***** ka! magkano ka ba binili ng howe ko?!"

[heygurl]

up beeeches

[princessdiane30]

i have this "*****y Professor" back in college, the subject was Logic. It was pretty tough especially since she was the professor. i have heard alot of bad feedback regarding her so when i got in her class, i was kind of scared... we always have this recitation every meeting so we're really forced to study harder and get leeks from the first batch who's taking it in the morning. The bad thing is shes gonna ask 3 tough questions, you have to answer the three correctly otherwise your grade is still zero. it was really crazy, so much for your effort in answering the 2questions if you're gonna flunk us at the end right if we dont get a perfect score...

She will always tell us, "No i don't think that's the right answer. Are you sure? Are you willing to risk your life for it? i wrote the book so i know every single word that's written there" We're like "Duh! were not perfect you know, should you be very particular with the use of the "articles", what a crazy woman. Maybe she doesnt have a lovelife thats why she's always *****y and she just love terrorizing our minds whenever we see her"....

good thing i passed that subject

[mikki_pretty]

^^ hey!! i have the same professor with that kind of personality.. baka pareho tayo ng prof!!! same subject din e!

[true_steppers]

ito funny na may hint of *****iness...

Nakikinig ako magkwentuhan yung mga friends ko about RAIN, siya kasi yung nasa bottle nung pepsi dito.

friend1: Alam mo si RAIN, hindi siya gwapo, pero maappeal siya.
friend2: Oo nga, at magaling pa sumayaw.
friend3: Dapat lang noh, pangit na nga, tapos hindi pa magaling sumayaw, ano pa silbi niya sa mundong ito.

wala lang natawa lang ako sa pagkakasabi niya

[plankton_united]

a situation:

a girl introduced her bf to her girl friends. shortly after:

gril: ano gwapo ba?? (nanginginig-nginig pa)

girl friends: mabait!

loads of B*TCHES!!

[plankton_united]

...addendum...

naalala ko tuloy prof ko sa sacramentology way back in college.
after reporting, he would ask: "so, could you extend your opinion about this?"
syempre ako magdadadakdak since he's seeking for my POV.

then he would answer: "no, i don't think thats right!"

is it just me or his statement's too B*tchy!