Filipino-Chinese relationships - Page 2 | Love - Principles, Practices & Preferences | PinoyExchange

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  1. #21
    It's true culture is important but too often it is used a smokescreen for racism. I think parents don't have the right to choose who their children will marry based simply on the fact that they are of a different race.

  2. #22
    procrastination specialist
    Join Date
    Sep 1999
    talaga lang ha shark! u believe in it ha! sobrang lakas ba ng paniniwala mo? u mean nangyari na sa'yo yan?

    [This message has been edited by BadGiRL (edited 01-16-2000).]

  3. #23
    I guess its true. I know some instances wherein these couples are broken up even to the extent that one party is sent off to another country just to prevent having serious relationships with one another. Lets face it, on a relationship is a prelude to marriage-- some way or another. The Chinese culture isn't that flexible to oblige. It is against all odds you bet... it is a fight to the end!!!

  4. #24
    procrastination specialist
    Join Date
    Sep 1999
    reflection: galing!

  5. #25
    Relationships like this needs a lot of things to consider. Each consideration amounts to tremendous pressure coming from both parties. How can these two conflicting cultures meet and have some semblance of goodness between them? Can this be stopped? It seem that it is indeed against all odds!!!

  6. #26
    Interracial mariages is not a rarity kaya lang the big question is how reasonable and practical is it. Forget racism, forget romantic notions, concentrate na lang on the realities of adapting to each other's cultural idiosyncrasies and those of their respective families. Yung considered na socially acceptable in one culture could be rude or taboo in the other. Paano din yung future children, in whose culture or religion are they going to be reared?

    Kahit hindi against all odds ang inter-racial marriage, it is surely against many odds.

  7. #27
    well... against all odds.. and it hurts!!!

    experience ko before.. hahaha...

    my first boyfriend... (the one i was talkin' about in the "if your ex wants you back..." topic...the one who flew out of the country) was Chinese....

    and his parents... liked me, but i could feel chilly sometimes...then again... his grandparents immediately disagreed coz i'm half Pinay, half Fil Am.... so there, we had to break up... sayang nga eh...

    after that incident, i felt like LOVE is so unfair to set rules... anything can interfere it na so... it's kinda hard to Love with no holds barred... it's easy to love nga... pero you have to follow rules, traditions etc...

    pero dba if you really love someone naman, be it against all odds or not... you've got to, like, prove your love or else... it's not love at all...

  8. #28
    procrastination specialist
    Join Date
    Sep 1999
    black: kasi sa chinese, marriage is not between two ppl, it's between 2 families. kaya mahirap talaga. unless gusto mo solo flight kayo ng husband mo, kailangan mo talaga pakisamahan ang buong angkan nya. and i mean buong angkan. u'd be surprise that it doesn't just stop with the grandparents. hanggang sa mga kapatid, pinsan, etc ng grandparents pa. kaya mahirap talaga.

  9. #29
    Kaya mas ok na yun same culture.
    But you cannot tell naman dahil
    love is blind...ganun ba? *sigh*

  10. #30
    Well, BADGIRL, you're right. It is a marriage between two families, not just between two people. Life and love would have been a lot easier if we don't have to contend with each other's families. The adventurous and extremely love-struck could try their luck, but be forewarned of regular disagreements. But sometimes perseverance pays off with dividends.

  11. #31
    procrastination specialist
    Join Date
    Sep 1999
    mainlander: as u said sometimes perseverance pays off with dividends.
    ---- You are right! Just as you said- sometimes! But sometimes can mean 1 in a thousand! Fat chance! Hehehe! So, I think I'd just play it safe nalang.

  12. #32
    Some cultures are more tolerant of inter-racial marriages, as in the U.S. But in certain highly traditionalistic countries it is still discouraged, even prohibited. If this tradition is breached, the parents and families of the lovers feel such strong public humiliation that they sometimes resort to drastic measures...from disowning their own child to killing her (usually it is the daughter who gets punished) just to restore their "family honor."

    So, if I may paraphrase what Reflection said - "Even it is not against ALL odds, it will certainly be against MANY odds.

    Love conquers ALL?? Maybe, but highly doubtful.

  13. #33
    Filipino-Chinese Relationships takes its toll the couple themselves. The question asked here is "Are these individuals ready to face everything all for beauty of their LOVE??" Yes, it is a battle till the end!!!

  14. #34
    Parents are just so concerned with the welfare of their child engaged in this relationship. The fact of the matter is that someone is bound to get hurt one way or another...

  15. #35
    "kasi sa chinese, marriage is not between two ppl, it's between 2 families. kaya mahirap talaga. unless gusto mo solo flight kayo ng husband mo, kailangan mo talaga pakisamahan ang buong angkan nya. and i mean buong angkan. u'd be surprise that it doesn't just stop with the grandparents. hanggang sa mga kapatid, pinsan, etc ng grandparents pa. kaya mahirap talaga."
    -- sinabi mo!!! buti na lang i get along with my inlaws... and when i say inlaws, di lang parents ha... i mean brother, sister, uncles, aunties, cousins, uncles-in-law, aunties-in-law. grabe... eh yun pamilya pa naman ng father in law ko... 9 brothers and sisters. ayayay!!! nerbiyos nga ako before kasi takot akong makalimot ng mga pangalan. and the chinese titles get sooo complicated!! co-ma, tiak-kong, co-tiu, pe-kong... ay!!! di na common yun ha...
    which just goes to prove the against all odds point. i think it CAN work. but kailangan MAJOR EFFORT on both their parts to overcome the cultural barriers...
    as to the kids of such unions, i think that these kids have an advantage, rather than disadvantage. they have 2 very diverse cultures (and beautiful in their own right) as part of their heritage and historicity.

    in some cases, i think maturity counts a lot. but in others, even if the 2 people involved are mature enough to get aroung the more obvious differences, its the external pressure from the families that wreak havoc in the relationship.

    [This message has been edited by blue babe (edited 02-01-2000).]

  16. #36

    This kind of relationship between 2 cultures having 2 different beliefs speaks of the things which seem to be unconceivable. Let's face it, it can't work out without if there is no agreement among parties. It is not just between two individuals. More importantly, the families are to decide the fate of these two.

  17. #37


    Mas strict pag Chinese yung girl and the guy is not. Why? Because the girl will, technically speaking, go and live with the family of the guy... so the girl (most likely) will no longer practice Chinese traditions. Similarly, traditional Chinese thinks "e di parang binigay mo na yung anak mo sa isang Pilipino, who they don't trust" Tama nga, most traditional Chinese are racist, which I hate about them!!!

    I just realized this from my uncle. Kawawa daw yung magiging anak ng Chinese and Filipino couple. They will (most of the time) NEVER learn to speak Chinese anymore. You can send your children to Chinese school, although mahihirapan syang mag-aral specially if the mother is not Chinese: walang magtuturo sa kanila.I agree to that. But you can always teach your partner to speak the language, which can be exciting and fulfilling.

    About the tradition thing, I've already expressed that concern to her na... she is willing to practice (learn at least) our practices, etc.

    I'm Chinese and I love my g/f even if she's not a Chinese!

  18. #38


    Good question, how about why pure blood spaniards don't like having their children infected by Chinese people ?

  19. #39


    i think it's really more on keeping the chinese family tradition going, rather than what alot of people believe that chinese feel that other races, especially the filipinos, are inferior to their values.

    anyone of u watched the movie, "the joyluck club"? i think it very well showcases how difficult it is to have a non-chinese husband, to have him keep up with tradition and stuff. it doesn't mean though, that it's all hardship for them...the film also shows how through time, and alot of effort, they prove to the chinese woman's family that ethnicity is nothing major really.

    siguro kanya-kanya ng opinions, for the chinese and non-chinese alike, if they would consider or prefer having partners of different ethnicity from them.

    pure blood spaniards don't like their children INFECTED by chinese people?
    grabe...the word MIXED i understand, pero infected? grabe parang toxic naman ang chinese blood or something.

  20. #40


    i notice some chinese parents don't want their children to marry a filipino especially if it is their daughter. The reason, from what I gather is that the chinese family won't be able to preserve their name anymore if their daughter marries a filipino. And they still believe that a fellow chinese can offer a better life for their children especially if they are a well off chinese family which i think is true. If a chinese daughter who is well off marries a not so rich filipino man, she would have a hard time adjusting to everything. In the end, they might not be able to get along well because of culture clash too.

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