Filipino-Chinese relationships

[death valley driver]

why do some chinese parents don't want their children to be romantically involved with filipinos?

[KATKAT]

I think that rule applies only to very traditional Chinese families. My friend said the reason behind it is the fact that the Chinese have many traditions and practices. They believe so much in the "dynasty" rule. So it would be better to pass on everything they have, including their genes, to someone who is of their race 100%!

[badbluberri]

this is true, sadly. My parents were TOTALLY opposed to my relationship with my filipino boyfriend because of their biases (racial). It's a blood thing. good thing we're "OK" now-sometimes u just gotta stand up 4 what u believe in.

[BadGiRL]

my mother said aside from the dynasty thing... iba ang culture ng chinese and filipino...and when culture-clash happens... hindi tumatagal ang magasawa or kung tumagal...may isang culture ang mawawala..and in most cases the chinese culture will fade...and traditional chinese do not want that to happen... mauubusan daw sila ng lahi or something.... ah...gusto ata nila i-preserve ang mga chinese ways....

[The Saint]

Most of my friends are attracted physically to Chinese girls, but I doubt they'd ever get attracted to the trivial traditions. So what's with the hype with chinitas?

Filipinos are basically westerners by culture and tradition and a significant number of mestizos reinforce that fact. There will definitely be a clash between the Filipino and the Chinese and I can attest to that, my mother bearing some pathetic traditions and beliefs. It will have to depend on both parties willingness to compromise.

[Cy]

i myself duno why but i think what badgirl said is they want to preserve the chinese ways... and i just have to follow them or else itatakwil nila ako if ever i disobey them..

[CaRaMBa]

More than half of my barkada in college were chinese. Kawawa yung iba, because they come from traditional chinese families. Okay naman yung iba, because they come from 'modern' chinese families.

One of them said, her mother's reason is that there might be culture clash between the chinese and filipino. My friend commented that the real culture clash will happen if she ends up with a traditional chinese guy because she's very 'modern' already.

Though some don't want to admit it, it is common belief that the main reason for the issue is that "ayaw nilang mahaluan ng pinoy ang pamilya nila." Filipinos have different values and beliefs, and they think these are inferior to their values and beliefs. This is for THE traditional families.

It's good that slowly, this is changing, and we see more and more 'modern' chinese around.

[BadGiRL]

Cy: i agree...hay naku... i think i was 12 when my parents handed down the ultimatum thatif i marry a filipino guy or any other guy of a different culture...i'm then not considered as a part of the family.... in short...wala na akong tatay at nanay.... singaw ako ng lupa kaya ako napunta sa mundo...sad no??

pero in fairness naman...that is the only chinese tradition my parents can make me uphold...kasi that's is where i draw the line... i get to do things that other traditional chinese girls can't do e....like that kilay thing...d ba u can't have it plucked unless u marry...fat chance i am going to wait that long....

[This message has been edited by BadGiRL (edited 11-04-1999).]

[Sparks]

It cannot be counted out that inter-racial relationships are obvious in our culture. The thing called "LOVE" makes up an integral part to make these (as a matter of fact, ALL!!) relationships to work out well. In the case of Filipino-Chinese relationships, LOVE isn't enough. Those who have experienced these relationships have gone through "very rough" sailing in order to uphold their pure intentions (and sometimes to no avail). Traditional and cultural barriers hinder these individuals. Is it really against all odds?? Does it really matter if these differences are present (take note, it does not concern the feelings of LOVE. It is just that these cultural and traditional barriers maintain a dividing wall between them)? Is there some way to arrive at a compromise between parties? Speak out!!!

[Brutus]

yup.. it really is against all odds..
yup.. it really does matter..
compromise? hmm.. malabo ata yun..
pero hindi naman lahat ganun..

[nikki]

medyo against all odds nga...
especially if lahat ng mga cousins mo na married na, eh, followed ur tradition...
pero malay mo!

[Ira]

When I was younger I used to think that love conquers all, and racial differences between two people don't matter when they're in love. However, over time, my experiences, as well as my friends' and relatives', taught me that love isn't enough. There are so many hurdles a couple should go through just to stay together, much more than couples of the same race go through. It's hard enough keeping the relationship intact, but the added burden of differing cultures--sometimes couples just decide to give up to make things easier all around.

[shark]

Ira well said

but you still cant count out the possibility.....lets be practical and emotional here...love sometimes conquer all...

[batang uliran]

When Chinese-Filipino or non-Chinese Filipino parents object to an interracial marriage for their children is this not some form of racism? I personally think it is.

[clawed_out]

all odds? well if his/ her parents of whatever race they have has NARROW MINDS eh, then we might call it hard...

but i'm so sorry to say this but i think why they (chinese people) dont like to have filipinos (yung hindi gaanong rich) as their in laws is bec. of the fact that yun nga they aren't THAT/somewhat rich, medyo materialistic yung iba kasi eh.....sad but true....pero hands down ako sa ibang chinese family na walang pinipiling status/race sa magiging in-laws nila....

stop being materialistic, money isn't all you know......

[Ira]

BU: It is racism.

I'm not at all for it, and luckily, my parents aren't that way, but a couple should understand that, in reality, love does not conquer all, much as it would be great that it does. And if they make it, well, good for them!

[wAgKaNgMaKuLiT]

hindi lahat materialistic. some just want to continue the tradition (mga traditional kung baga)...

[BadGiRL]

i agree with wAgKaNgMaKuLiT. usually they just want to keep tradition. and the elders have this mind set that since the pure chinese in the philippines are so little in number, there will come a day that the culture would diminish into nothing. they were brought up with this idea and they are under obligation to instill this upon their descendants. i mean,look at the intermarriages of chinese and filipinos around, the chinese language is lost, the culture iba na din. yung ibang pure nga dyan e..they do not even know how to speak the language na..what more for intermarriages? but hey, i know a couple of kids who are half chinese and they can speak the language wonderfully and the way they act is more chinese than i am. but then, konti lang ang tulad nila. so the elders basically would want chinese-chinese marriages para mapanatili yung chinese culture.

and yes, it is a form of racial descrimination. however, d lang naman ang chinese ang gumagawa nito e. still the same, am not proud of how the elders act.

no, i don't think love conquers all. sometimes? puwede ba yun? how?

[clawed_out]

thanks wagnamakulit & badgirl, now i know.

yun kasi, that's based on my observations through my friends (pure chinese mostly kasi)...well culture really is a one big factor to be considered.

[shark]

BG u dont believe in it???? LOL

paaano na ako niyan hahahaha