baka siya yung naba-bling item na matagal na.
The most exciting collegiate basketball tournament is back. Find out what the different teams bring to the table in UAAP Season 77.read more
The NU Bulldogs went full-throttle from the 3rd quarter and never looked back to dominate the cold-shooting UST 59-40.read more
Follow us at PEx_UAAP on Twitter and get updated with all the action of UAAP Season 77!read more
The girls go emo and sentimental and pay tribute to best friends and sidekicks in the realm of Pinoy TV, movies, and... Batang X?read more
No one likes being embarassed and having their plans thrown out the window. Read to find out how to avoid being offloaded here!read more
baka siya yung naba-bling item na matagal na.
Is it true that Panjee is already separated from ABS-CBN big boss? Some are saying that Panjee's articles in Philippine Star have been giving hints about her diappointment in marriage and other women. Do you have a copy of the past articles she had written? Please post here.
totoo na wala na sila... pakitang-tao lang...
si panjee mismo ang may attitude problem... ill tell u later kung bakit.......
matagal na ito at sa tingin ko totoo!
hmmm. womanizer kasi asawa nya. hindi siguro nakatiis kahit na nung medyo hindi na napagkikikita si pia guanio sa abs compound. ewan ko lang outside the walls of abs. cute pa naman ng baby nila.
si aubrey miles ang napapabalitang girl pero does anyone has a copy of panjee's articles?
teka....why me ang naging thread starter nito? eh sinagot ko lang naman yung thread....nagulat ako, ako na ang thread starter...grabeh! ano ba yan?
wow! kawawa naman siya pareho tuloy sila ng mom niyang single woman ulit!
eto yung copy nung article nya sa philippine star:
What is the essence of a true & good marriage?
BREATHING SPACE By Panjee Tapales Lopez
Publish Date: [Sunday, January 18, 2004]
Itís a new year. I ponder the many changes it will bring. I notice how 2003 endedĖagainĖ with the ever-increasing apocalyptic catastrophes that wiped out entire towns worldwide, plunging thousands around the globe into a sea of loss and desolation. We feel the heat of change in our own country, especially with the presidential election nightmare threatening to mar our already damaged political and economic landscape. Where will this country be next year?
I look back on the last twelve months and shake my head at the changes in and around me. I see how my children are growing daily in their physical bodies, as well as their deepest and highest parts. I think of them as grown men making their way into what would by then be a totally different world. Which institutions will survive for them, what form will they take and how will my children experience them? What will their world be like?
Already the family is changing. How many of us truly feel deeper ties with people outside of our blood families? I can only imagine the number of individuals sitting at Christmas dinner, feeling totally displaced in their own families, wondering how a bunch of almost -strangers grew up together in the place they casually call home. Women are finding their voice. Men are moving more comfortably into their feminine side. Our beliefs are changing to the core and life, as we know it, has become challenging on every level. We are constantly evolving with the world, though in varying degrees.
The image of the bride always brings this home for me. I see her coming down the aisle feet barely touching the floor, illuminated by faith, hope and a brand of love replete with longing, desire and a host of levitation-inducing emotions. Ah, what a sight. How beautiful she is. This is where her journey begins. I think of how the years will change her. I wonder if she will harden or become wise. I think of her as a mother; how her heart will open to depths and heights previously unknown. I know the many ways a marriage can go, so I feel a swirl of joy and sorrow for the radiant bride who will never again be the same. What will happen to her when she begins to individuate, as she will; when insurmountable differences emerge and she begins to question herself, her spouse, her life, her destiny, the very meaning of love?
Marriage is no longer what it was. Like everything it is evolving, threatened by a world that has become material and external in orientation. For most of us, the concept of marriage remains ancient. It is a blindly accepted custom; an abstract expectation. No wonder so many are disappointed or feel it isnít what they bargained for.
We marry, share a home, raise kids and then a blur of life fills in the gaps. We carry an amorphous image of love in our heads that has everything to do with whatís been fed us from birth, what has been imprinted in us from experience and what lies dormant in the very depths of our souls. We vow to love each other till death do us part but few of us have even asked ourselves what our picture of this love is; few of us have sat down with our partners to define our relationships. What, for example, is the meaning of fidelity? This is clear to most women. And easy. It means their husband exclusively forever, in body, soul and spirit. For a man it isnít so. It could mean he will love and care for his wife and children but have a secret life. Or he wonít have a mistress but will play the field from time to time. What happens when something so fundamental cannot be bridged? Is this still a true marriage? We take these things for granted.
Filipinos, especially, love to tell each other "please donít change" or "stay the way you are" and when things go wrong say accusingly, "youíve changed", "youíre not the woman I married". Well, of course not. We are human beings. Change is part of our inner and outer constitution. How else do we meet our individual destinies? Yet knowing all this, how do we stay together, growing in "love", individually and together forever? And how do we do this consciously, in a way that honors our spirit and that of our spouse and not blindly, just because itís what we think the bible says?
I read a book recently that has been a big help in my quest for illumination on the challenges and evolution of human relationships. Friends and Lovers: Working through relationships is a wonderful book by Julian Sleigh that sheds light on the nuances and intricacies of relationships. He says:
"The modern marriage envisages that those who marry are not two halves making a whole but two wholes who place themselves in the service of each other. The aim is not only to share a domestic arrangement or even for the sake of bringing up a family; these aspects need a higher principle to enliven and safeguard them. This higher principle is one of regard for the wholeness of each other, the unfolding person who is equally at home in the spiritual world and in the earthly. Regard for the one who can aspire to great thoughts and enjoy a rich imagination, and at the same time can be fully practical and wise about earthly needs and situations that life presents. It calls for persons who are able and glad to give space to each other and enable the other to grow. Persons who know their own weaknesses and selfish habits and are working to overcome them. Persons who are striving in their soul life to be channels of feeling and love. Persons who have greatness of heart."
This paragraph gives us an idea of the essence of a true and good marriage. It implies growth and freedom. It illustrates a kind of love that is far from romantic. It isnít a "falling into each other" kind of love but one that aspires towards a greater ideal. Sleigh further writes:
"We do not change another person through spiritual love: we help him to be free to be himself. We strive to create a safe space for him to fill, large enough to enable him to grow, yet firm enough to assure him of our understanding and our regard for him. We will not intrude with advice unless it is asked for, and even then we will encourage him to find his own solutions. We will not cross his boundaries and invade his space; we are not allowed to force him to be free. We will only seek to transform the moonlight of his aloneness into the sunlight of companionship.
Our love will help him to be free in so far as it comes from our own inner freedom."
These arenít just words. As I read this, I felt my gut fill with warmth, knowing I had hit upon a spiritual truth. Getting there, of course, is what life is all about. But carrying this possibility of spiritual love in our consciousness and feeling already creates tremendous space for change. If I could quote the whole book, I would. But I thought it might be better to invite the author instead.
Julian Sleigh will be in Manila in February to give 2 workshops on human relationships. On February 14 the workshop will be primarily on marriage. On February 21 it will be on sexuality and being an individual in our time. His books are available as well. Call or text (0917)5251924 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for details. * * *
Iíve read this book three times and each time my understanding of the complexities of relationships has deepened, and not just in my head. I have become more forgiving, more understanding, but also clearer in myself about my own spiritual growth and development. Change is inevitable and difficult, but when viewed in terms of the spirit, one cannot help but see the hand of the Divine.
This time next year, I hope to look back with gratitude and comprehension on the intricate pattern of change I would have woven in and around me. I hope to feel the changes in the country and the world working in me in a deep yet uplifting way. And I hope that we will all be better equipped to meet change with acceptance, purpose, grace, and a greater capacity for love.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Sex and the Spirit
BREATHING SPACE By Panjee Tapales Lopez
Publish Date: [Sunday, January 25, 2004]
Not too long ago, a friend shared how her husband had confessed to an affair. Despite the shock and pain, she agreed to work it out. They had sex. It was awful. "Why," I asked, "was sex your first stop? When things fall apart, when wounds are fresh and deep, isnít this the most difficult place to start?" "Because that is his language," she says. "It is what he knows. It was his way." She spoke about other things that caused my heart to contract: wifely duty, the need to prove her desirability, the need to erase what could no longer be undone.
My friend stared blankly into space and recounted her experience. "How can I feel so dirty and violated when he is my husband; the father of my children? How can he just sleep with someone else then say sorry, he loves me, and then turn around and sleep with me? And why isnít it that simple for me? It felt horrible physically and elsewhere," she said, uncomprehendingly. Elsewhere. I cringe at the sound of it; the singularity. She had just dumped her soul and spirit into a body bag she absently marked "elsewhere." Part of her clearly sees sex as a purely physical thing but the depth of her pain and confusion proved she knew, on a deeper and higher level, that it was much more than that.
Another friend shared the details of her rather active sex life. Sheís so active I felt I had to remind her there is no such thing as casual sex. She then admitted that sometimes the sex is so bad and the person turns out to be not her type at all, but something in her always wants to go back. She was obviously confused by her own incongruous feelings. I asked if she didnít feel a gnawing emptiness anyway after her near-anonymous encounters. She nodded sadly and said it was why she always needed to be with someone. What a vicious, depressing cycle.
The sexual act is so intimate Ė sacred, even if so many of us no longer remember Ė that it is binding on so many levels. There is an exchange of more than bodily fluids. Something happens deep inside us that we cannot name. Especially for a woman, sex is never just a physical experience, no matter how we try to convince ourselves. We open too much of ourselves and take too much into our being. We are touched at the very core, which is why negative experiences wound us so deeply. Why is it so difficult for women to walk away from men they know arenít good for them, men they realize they donít even like, once they have opened their bodies to them? How can it be casual?
In his book, Friends and Lovers, Julian Sleigh writes: ĎThe modern idea that ĎI cannot know you deeply unless I know you sexuallyí does not really apply. Rather the question is ĎHow can I dare to know you sexually before I know who you are and what we have in common?"
We seem to have forgotten this path. We treat sex as a tool. We use it to get to know someone better, to prove our loyalty, love or commitment; we use it to exert power over others, to lick our emotional wounds. Sex is the way human life comes into the world. What have we done that it is reduced to duty, pure physical release, a five-minute anonymous transaction, a cosmic bandage, a place of pain and sadness rather than joy and creation?
Sleigh further writes:
"When a woman finds her own fulfillment in a man, she gives a part of herself to him: she identifies the masculine element in her soul with him. She is then bonded. If the relationship enters the physical-sexual sphere, it is not only her body that she offers, but with it her soul and spirit. Thereby the bonding takes the risk of being turned into bondage. But she accepts this as wholesome provided the man she loves remains devoted to her; she allows herself to be vulnerable.
And she expects his loyalty towards her to be equally total and unwavering. If he divides his attention between her and another woman, she is deeply wounded. Because what she has given to him cannot be retrieved; it has been given without reserve, in total trust.
When a woman makes love, her need and her soul-tendency is to devote herself with her whole being. Not to do so would prevent her from feeling fulfilled, and she would lose the desire for the relationship. A man easily "makes love" with his body only, even when he loves his partner dearly. Men have to learn to love in wholeness, so as to be worthy of the love of a woman. This is a manís schooling in integration. When he fails, the woman suffers greatly."
We all know that sex is different for a man and woman. Just look at our bodies! The male body gestures outward. The female body is the opposite. We are inward. That says a lot even about our views and emotions; the way we process our experiences. But we have ignored the deep spiritual implications of the male and female anatomy and have managed to treat sex as a purely physical act with procreation as its mostly unfortunate side effect.
A new mother feels anything but sexual. Though she will probably love her husband more after they become parents, she will not want to experience him sexually. At least not immediately. Suddenly she sees her body differently and even senses her womanhood in a new and deep way. Her husband, having waited so long, canít wait to have sexual relations again. But the very life forces that are exchanged during sex are the ones that now nourish her child, especially if she is breastfeeding. The man then feels displaced and rejected, thinking only that his needs arenít met. But how can the couple even begin to understand and support each other if their view of sex remains limited; if they canít go beyond their bodies?
Sexual attraction is blinding. If we are so consumed by desire and canít see clearly and fall into bed with someone because we feel there is no other way, are we acting out of freedom? How different are we then, from animals, who are driven by their instincts and desires and are sometimes even bound to earthly cycles, coming together sexually only during mating season? As human beings, we have the power to choose. This is what separates us from animals. We have the same carnal instincts, yes, but surely we can exercise our human capacity to discern and choose. Yes, we will still feel sexually drawn to people but, unlike animals, we can think, exercise restraint, come to a place of equanimity so that we can rise above the dark hole of self-indulgence and self-centeredness.
And what of love? How many people still approach sex with reverence and do it out of feelings of deep love for their partner? How many people actually still make love? Sleigh says: " Love is only possible in freedom, and sex is fulfilling only if based on freedom and not on unconscious drives. True freedom is a benefit that comes from commitment: we are only truly free when the basis of our life is secure. But we live in an age of freedom, and so our decisions on moral behavior must be our own, original and convincing for ourselves. This motivation must arise out of our own consciousness." He further writes: "Sexuality engages the forces of life: and we need to face the question ĎAre they ours to use as we wish?í"
That is the big question. I donít mean to suggest that sex should be free of desire or that we should simply sublimate our very human urges. We are, after all, flesh and blood. But I think that we should all begin the process of thinking, feeling and acting more clearly and more consciously, especially about how we use and engage our life forces. It isnít just the men who need integration. Women need to actively honor our bodies and never allow ourselves to be used. Ever. Being married does not give us license to be casual about sex, either. I think that married couples should be even more sensitive and loving towards each other sexually, especially since we are aware of our responsibility as parents, knowing that every sexual union is an invitation to life.
We have a long way to go towards understanding humanity and sexuality, but we can begin by questioning ourselves and examining attitudes that we know are destructive, limited or negative. What would the world be like if we could all experience sex imbued with love, respect, pleasure, truth; if, beyond the physical, we could all participate in the conscious exchange of life forces in a true act of spiritual freedom?
heto yung lumabas sa People's Insider:
PANJEE GONZALES - GABBY LOPEZ Marriage: The Truth
Matagal na naming naririnig na si Panjee Gonzales ay nakipaghiwalay na sa mister niyang si Gabby Lopez of ABS-CBN.
Sa column niyang Breathing Space sa Philippine Star, malalaman ninyo ang totoo if you know how to read between the lines. To quote some lines she wrote:
"Marriage is no longer what it was. It is a blindly-accepted custom; an abstract expectation. No wonder so many are disappointed or feel it isn't what they bargained for. What is the meaning of fidelity? This is clear to most women. And easy. It means their husband exclusively forever, in body, soul, and spirit. For a man, it isn't so. It could mean he will love and care fro his wife and children but have a secret life. Or he won't have a mistress but he will play the field from time to time."
Panjee sounds so disappointed with marriage, but the fact remains that this is still the basic foundation of our society. Bad marriages that result in broken home produce broken children with plenty of hang-ups. Kaya napakahalagang piliin ang right partner...
ay nako ha... uy naiintriga ako don s cnabe ni ttboy na c panjee daw mismo ang may problem.... nako clarify mo yan... haha
eh hello, matagal na namang balita na babaero yang asawa nya noh. ngayon lang nya hiniwalayan? hehehe. dapat di nya pinakasalan in the first place. oh well.
baka MATULIS kasi si BOSS?
baka mga artista at reporter sa network pinapatos?
tanong natin sa star ng soap opera?
isa pa lang yun
hey fortune! clue naman!
Di ko alam yon!
Si Pia Guanio kina****** dati ng ABS-CBN executive, I dunno kung si Gabby Lopez yun.
yup. trophy kabit si PG ni GL. pero mukhang si PG na rin ang umiwas.
yung star ng soap opera? ang clue dun "mahinhinDUtin"
tomtom: taga-ABS ka ba? yung kaibigan ko kasi news editor ng ABS eh (matanda na sya, hehe). grabe daw mga kalandiang nangyayari dun
Talaga? sobra naman yan. Dati pa naman balita yang k PG at GL. Teka sino yun soap Star? si KH ba?