Basted!

[JUST_JT]

That is something that I do not need to answer. Why do you think it is BS? You post something without backing it up. The concepts I just introduced, on the other hand, are products of studies conducted by female psychologists from all over the world. Do you want proof?

It's BS because courtship is a TWO-WAY STREET. Just as the man is trying to prove himself to the woman, so does the woman is trying to prove herself to the man. A man can simply walk away if he finds something he doesn't like. Therefore, a man never loses control when he is courting a woman.

-Just_JT
That's.common.sense.which.doesn't.need.clinical.studies.to.prove.

[ridler2012]

Masakit talaga yan. Kapag nanliligaw kasi huwag ibuhos ng todo ang pagmamahal at magaassume na magiging kayo yun ang pinakamalakas na sipa kapag nabasted. Yun tipong iniimagine na niya na makakasama niya habang buhay lol. Just moved on isipin na lang hindi siya talaga para sa iyo and think kung saan ka nagkamali baguhin ito I mean for good hindi pakitang maaaring ito ang naging cause kung bakit nabasted.

[lancealmekian]

It's BS because courtship is a TWO-WAY STREET.

In the context of how courtship goes sa isang nababasted na lalake who obviously doesn't know his way around women, courtship is NEVER a two-way street. Sa mga hayop siguro na may rituals bago nmag-mate, applicable to. It is this thing you are saying that's BS. Kung two-way street ang ligawan sa Pinas, bakit hindi nanghaharana ang babae? Bakit hindi namimigay ng chocolates ang babae? Bakit hindi namamanhikan ang babae pag kasalan na?

Just as the man is trying to prove himself to the woman, so does the woman is trying to prove herself to the man.

Sa isang sitwasyon na ang lalake ay nagpaalam sa babae na gusto nya manligaw, wala nang dapat patunayan ang babae. She has already won him over. It is his job to do the same to her (win her over).
Value at attainability ang tingnan natin. When you said "prove oneself," you are saying that someone has to prove that he/she has value. Sa mga babaeng magaganda, hindi na nila kailangan gawin to, kasi kita na agad e. Yung mga lalaken hindi kagwapuhan, hindi kayamanan at hindi kakisigan ang kailangan mag-take ng steps para ma-prove na may value sya sa babae. Ang argument dito, kung nawawalan ng power ang lalake pag nanliligaw sya. A definite yes (as some other PEXERS have already agreed to). Kasi wala nang gagawin ang babae e, puro lalake na lang. Sinasamba ang babae, nilalagay sa isang mataas na pedestal, iniisip madalas, tinatawagan araw araw, nireregaluhan ng mamahaling bagay; all this time the man is thinking that doing all those things could somehow make the woman like him; HINDI ITO ANG KAILANGAN ng isang babae. Ang kailangan nya ay isang lalake na kaya syang paisipin, kaya syang sabayan sa kalokohan nya, kaya syang patawanin, kaya syang pagalitan pag kailangan, kaya syang ipagtanggol at kaya syang buhayin. Yun ang lalakeng mamahalin nya. Kahit na isang toneladang chokolate ibigay mo sa isang babae at kahit isang libong kanta ang ipangharana mo, pag hindi nakita ng babae sa iyo mga angmmga binanggit kong qualities, di mo sya mapapaibig. MABABASTED ka.

A man can simply walk away if he finds something he doesn't like. Therefore, a man never loses control when he is courting a woman.

Ah, e kung ganun bakit "Basted!" ang title nitong thread? At bakit isang lalake ang nagpasimula ng thread na ito? At may babae bang nabasted rito?

Ang lalake, pag nanligaw, he has already made a choice na gusto nya na yung babae. Ngayon, kung may makikita syang nakakaturn-off sa babae at mag-decide na ititigil nya ang panliligaw, wala nang usapan. Hindi sya na-turn off because the woman was supplicating and he didn't like it. Besides, if a woman is supplicating, wala nang need for anymore ligawan, isusuko na ng babae ang bataan kahit kailan dahil gusto na nya si lalake; at hindi na kailangan ni lalake manligaw pag ganun.

That's.common.sense.which.doesn't.need.clinical.studies.to.prove.

It is a well known fact that some men are better with women than others, and then again there are those men who don't have any clue at all. Kaya may mga pagaaral na ginagawa sa mundo ng psychology pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay ay HINDI lahat nadadaan sa common sense. May mga lalakeng ipinanganak na babaero, at may mga lalakeng ipinanganak para lumipad papunta sa buwan pero pagdating sa mga babae SUPERRRR ENGOT.

Please don't give me any more idiotic arguments. They just won't make the cut.

[Meanie!!]

You know what, when I court someone I just like, I can honestly say basing on my somewhat considerable experience, that what lancielmekian suggested is very effective.

Problem is, you sometimes can't help but fall in love as well..when you get to that point, all hell will break loose and sooner or later, your suave moves will make way for foolish, but heartfelt and sincere bursts of emotions, which most probably will e

I believe that everyone, even the smoothest player, will make palpak decisions and moves when it comes to the woman they love. An example(somewhat poor) is Daniel Craig's James Bond in Casino Royale.

[java_chiq]

guys can you clarify something...so it means that when a guy starts courting a girl...it doesn't mean that he's in love with the girl yet?

[lancealmekian]

Problem is, you sometimes can't help but fall in love as well..when you get to that point, all hell will break loose and sooner or later, your suave moves will make way for foolish, but heartfelt and sincere bursts of emotions, which most probably will e

That is correct sir, everyone can fall for that. Pero hopefully, naipakita mo na yung matigas, matalino at witty na side mo bago makita nung babae na may soft side ka. Dagdag pogi points sa kanila IF you fall in love later in the game. Mga lalake kasi who come on too strong early on, sila yung nababasted agad; nakikita kasi ng babae na walang kontrol lalake, na parang he doesn't have anything going on for him besides courting her. Pag naisip ng babae na pwede sya masakal, kandidato na sa listahan ng mga nabasted nya ang kawawang lalakeng yun (sumalangit nawa).

It's okay to fall in love, pero control is very important. IMO, there are generally 3 things a woman wants in a man: a sense of control, a sense of purpose, and a sense of humor. Yung lang yon, lahat ng ibang bagay will follow pag meron ang isang lalake ng mga yon.

[lancealmekian]

guys can you clarify something...so it means that when a guy starts courting a girl...it doesn't mean that he's in love with the girl yet?

When a guy in front of you asks you "pwede bang manligaw?" at sobrang goo goo eyes yung guy at parang may pagka-tulo laway pa and he somehow comes off as someone na ibibigay ang buwan at bituin at lahat ng bagay sa iyo (as in lahat, pati mga porselas na gusto mo, pati mga chokolate na gusto mo etc) makuha ka lang nya, may paka-lurky o creepy di ba? Especially if you don't like the guy (kung gusto mo naman yung guy pero ganito sya manligaw, depende sa expectations ng babae, pwede ma-turn off ang babae). Pero to answer your question ma'am, pag ganun yung lalake, IN LOVE na nga yun.

Ang tanong, gusto nyo ba ng ganun? Gusto nyo ba ng lalakeng tatapak-tapakan lang ninyo?

I don't think so.

[java_chiq]

i don't know about most women, and i can't speak for most women.

But IMHO...basted is unneccessary, panliligaw is unneccessary. A girl just needs to get to really know the guy and from there they can move on to a different level.

as for tapak tapakan...is there such a thing?

[keyjey]

guys can you clarify something...so it means that when a guy starts courting a girl...it doesn't mean that he's in love with the girl yet?

miss java depende po

syempre meron yung times na na-attract lang talaga kami sa babae at gusto namin ligawan, di naman pwedeng sabihin na in love na kami kay babae kasi di pa naman namin siya ganun kakilala. like lang pero di love.

[java_chiq]

thank you keyjey for that enlightening answer.

So at that point ba na like nyo lang ang girl and di nyo naman love...does it hurt pag nabasted?

[Meanie!!]

It's okay to fall in love, pero control is very important.

Oo nga sir, tatandaan ko yan. Npapadalas na kasi na kabaklaan ang ang mga moves ko e...


Pero sabo nga,

Whats love got to do, go to do with it?
Whats love, but a secondhand emotion...

[lancealmekian]

thank you keyjey for that enlightening answer.

So at that point ba na like nyo lang ang girl and di nyo naman love...does it hurt pag nabasted?

Ang pain ng pagka-basted, komporme sa laki ng investment nung lalake sa panliligaw. Mas malaki na investment (emotion-wise and money-wise), mas masakit; so to answer your question, kung hindi pa masyado like, hindi pa ganun kasakit;

Then again, kung lahat na lang ng babaeng liligawan mo ay babastedin ka agad, kahit wala masyadong investment ang guy, masakit din sa ego nya iyon. No one likes the feeling of rejection. Pag paulit-ulit ang pagkabasted, nare-reinforce lang nun yung feeling na walang pwedeng magmahal sa kanya e. Wawa rin yung guy pag ganun (I kinda know the feeling, dumaan ako dun e).

[blue_tracer]

bago pa maging evident/obvious ang diskarte mo.. bago pa malaman ng mga barkada mo na liligaw ka sa isang chick.. malamang 'naka-pagtanim' ka na ng pag kagusto doon sa chick.

kahit hindi ka pa actually nagsasabi ng feelings mo sa girl.. usually, kahit papano may advance info ka na sa kanya. makailang beses na muna sumagi sa isip mo yan bago ka mangligaw.

by the time na sagutin ka na.. malayo-layo na inaabot ng feelings mo. kaya masaya ka. by the time naman na-reject ka, minalas.. ganun din. so masakit sa guy pag na basted.

actually, kung ang guy naglalaro-laro lang.. subok-subok lang kung sino kumagat, di wala lang sa kanya ma-basted.

ang tingin ko sa mga guys na nasasaktan pag naba-basted.. partly, dahil sa ego. rejected eh. pero, sa kabilang banda naman, the fact na nasaktan.. that means nag invest na siya kahit papano ng feelings sa girl kahit wala pang kasiguraduhan sa chances niyang masagot. seryoso kumbaga. sadly, mga 'applicants' lang tayo. ang mga hitads pa rin ang magdedesisyon kung tanggap tayo o hindi.

may mga times na successful tayo sa mga panliligaw.. may mga times din naman na hindi.

sa mga pagkakataon na madalas tayong hindi successful sa panliligaw, huwag equate yan sa kakulangan ng pagkalalaki. dahil hindi naman diyan lagi ang sukatan.

kundi nasusukat kung ano ang manner mo sa pagtanggap ng kabiguan at kung papano ka bumangon diyan.

huwag ikahiya ang ma-basted dahil iba-iba ang kapalaran, tsamba ng bawat tao/sitwasyon. bangon ka kaagad. pagaralan modify at refine ang approach o diskarte. magtanong-tanong sa mga bihasang mangligaw.. hanggang ma-practice mo at ma-attain ang finesse sa mga diskarte.

[lancealmekian]

huwag ikahiya ang ma-basted dahil iba-iba ang kapalaran, tsamba ng bawat tao/sitwasyon. bangon ka kaagad. pagaralan modify at refine ang approach o diskarte. magtanong-tanong sa mga bihasang mangligaw.. hanggang ma-practice mo at ma-attain ang finesse sa mga diskarte.

Well said, sir.

Another tip sa mga madaling mabasted: Surround yourself with men who have experience with women, kuha kayo ng diskarte (wag kayo mainggit or magalit man lang sa mga gwapong guys, kasi may advantages ang mga hindi kagwapuhan na wala ang mga gwapo); and also, surround yourself with women you can talk to about woman issues (what they like, what they don't like, what makes them tick whatnot).

[JUST_JT]

Kung two-way street ang ligawan sa Pinas, bakit hindi nanghaharana ang babae? Bakit hindi namimigay ng chocolates ang babae? Bakit hindi namamanhikan ang babae pag kasalan na? Sa isang sitwasyon na ang lalake ay nagpaalam sa babae na gusto nya manligaw, wala nang dapat patunayan ang babae. She has already won him over. It is his job to do the same to her (win her over).

So the man initiates the interaction, so what? It doesn't mean a man loses control during a courtship.

Ah, e kung ganun bakit "Basted!" ang title nitong thread? At bakit isang lalake ang nagpasimula ng thread na ito? At may babae bang nabasted rito?

Of course, women get dumped, too.

Ang lalake, pag nanligaw, he has already made a choice na gusto nya na yung babae. Ngayon, kung may makikita syang nakakaturn-off sa babae at mag-decide na ititigil nya ang panliligaw, wala nang usapan. Hindi sya na-turn off because the woman was supplicating and he didn't like it. Besides, if a woman is supplicating, wala nang need for anymore ligawan, isusuko na ng babae ang bataan kahit kailan dahil gusto na nya si lalake; at hindi na kailangan ni lalake manligaw pag ganun.

A man can still walk away even after the woman "supplicates" his motives.

May mga lalakeng ipinanganak na babaero, at may mga lalakeng ipinanganak para lumipad papunta sa buwan pero pagdating sa mga babae SUPERRRR ENGOT.

And there are woman who are clueless about relationships too and get fooled by men.

-Just_JT
Your.arguments.don't.prove.that.men.lose.control.in.a.courtship.

[lancealmekian]

So the man initiates the interaction, so what? It doesn't mean a man loses control during a courtship..

Depende yan sa kung paano ini-initiate hayyy.
Kung sinabi mong "miss pwede ba manligaw?" na medyo pangisi-ngisi, may pagka-presko ang dating at maya-maya lang ng konti tatalikuran mo agad ang babae, mapapaisip yon. This is the proper way of saying it.
Kung sasabihin mo "miss pwede ba manligaw?" in a way na parang high school stud ka at goo goo eyes ka pa at parang tulo laway ka pa (or nahihiya man lang), you will come across as someone with no control of similar situations in life; and control means power. You lose power when you lose control.

Of course, women get dumped, too.
..

Hindi ito ang pinaguusapan sa thread na ito. Please lang po pakibasa ang topic ng thread bago mag post.

A man can still walk away even after the woman "supplicates" his motives.

Sana man lang ser ni-look up mo kung ano meaning ng "supplicate" no? Masyado bang malalim para sa iyo? Kasi obvious namang hindi mo alam e.
Supplicate - to qualify yourself to someone (i.e. to try to prove your worth or value to someone).
Sheesh.

And there are woman who are clueless about relationships too and get fooled by men.

Again, this has nothing to do with the topic.

-Just_JT
Your.arguments.don't.prove.that.men.lose.control.in.a.courtship.

I do not need to prove anything to you, nor do I to anyone. Most men here who know women as good as I do agree with everything I am saying; no one I have seen has so far agreed with you. That's too bad.

[JUST_JT]

Depende yan sa kung paano ini-initiate hayyy.
Kung sinabi mong "miss pwede ba manligaw?" na medyo pangisi-ngisi, may pagka-presko ang dating at maya-maya lang ng konti tatalikuran mo agad ang babae, mapapaisip yon. This is the proper way of saying it.
Kung sasabihin mo "miss pwede ba manligaw?" in a way na parang high school stud ka at goo goo eyes ka pa at parang tulo laway ka pa (or nahihiya man lang), you will come across as someone with no control of similar situations in life; and control means power. You lose power when you lose control.

I don't know which planet you just arrived from but no sensible Pinoy ON PLANET EARTH would utter any of those words in whatever tone or context. Men would show their intent or interest in more subtle words than that.

Bottomline: men DO NOT LOSE CONTROL in a courtship. If you agree to disagree, then fine.

-Just_JT
Or.disagree.to.agree.whichever.works.for.you.

[lancealmekian]

I don't know which planet you just arrived from but no sensible Pinoy ON PLANET EARTH would utter any of those words in whatever tone or context. Men would show their intent or interest in more subtle words than that.

Bottomline: men DO NOT LOSE CONTROL in a courtship. If you agree to disagree, then fine.

-Just_JT
Or.disagree.to.agree.whichever.works.for.you.

Really? Wow parang sobrang authoritative naman ng pagkasabi mo ng word na "would".

On any normal day, if I weren't married, hahamunin kita, paramihan na lang tayo ng babaeng macha-charm, then again I figure I probably won't, because you're not worth it; Ang mga bagay na alam ko ay produkto ng collective knowledge training na pinagdaanan ko nung mga time na inaaral ko pa sila (collective knowledge ng daang libong kalalakihan, who put effort in figuring out what makes women tick).

Ikaw, you take pride in your experience, pero kaya mo ba magturo sa isang taong laging basted? Dumaan ka ba sa pagiging basted palagi? Naging babaero ka na ba?

Ang circumstances mo sa buhay mo ay exclusive lang sa iyo at walang kahit sinong tao ang may exact same experiences na meron ka. Hindi mo pwede ipagmalaki lang lagi yung dinanas mo lang. Kulang ang isang daang taon para gumaling ka sa ganitong bagay.

Ako, may community akong pinanggalingan. Kung papansinin mo, pareho kami ng approach nung user na si mengo. Inaral namin mga to, hindi kami tulad mo puro boka lang.

[ildiavolo]

I don't know which planet you just arrived from but no sensible Pinoy ON PLANET EARTH would utter any of those words in whatever tone or context. Men would show their intent or interest in more subtle words than that.

Bottomline: men DO NOT LOSE CONTROL in a courtship. If you agree to disagree, then fine.

-Just_JT
Or.disagree.to.agree.whichever.works.for.you.

It's obvious that you're from the old school. The younger generation is different. Do not compare the ways and thinking of the younger generation to your ways and thinking of the past.

[JUST_JT]

On any normal day, if I weren't married, hahamunin kita, paramihan na lang tayo ng babaeng macha-charm

Right there shows you're a charlatan. Attracting women IS NOT A COMPETITION at all. Furthermore, women will be mighty pissed off with you if they found out you're wooing them because of a bet or a competition.

But sure, anyone who needs help in getting a woman can simply enrol in my (cyber)school of babe magnetism. Just send me a PM and I will respond to your queries/concerns. Or update the thread in PPP....

-Just_JT
Enrollment.is.free.