Long Distance Relationship.

[C2.Apple]

My boyfriend lives in the States. I live in the Philippines. Information aside from that, I think, is irrelevant.

I basically just need to rant right now. First, because long distance relationships are inevitably difficult. And second, because I think I'm PMS-ing right now, which makes the feeling worse, and if I do not let this out, I... don't know what I could do to myself... although I'm far from suicidal, and I think it is physically and mentally impossible for me to cut myself. I'm too weak (thankfully) for all that.

This may sound pretty shallow, but I'm upset because my boyfriend is always so busy during the weekends hanging out with his friends and coming home really late, thus not really having the time to talk to me. However, I find this so inexplicably mundane because he puts all the effort to talk to me during other days anyway. So what's happening here is that my brain is telling me that I am being very stupid allowing myself to feel upset over something that I should not be upset about, because he needs his time to be with his friends, and I would want him to understand when I need time to be with mine during the weekends as well. The thing is that tomorrow, I will just be staying home, probably catching up with school work, and I will be alone because my whole family will be watching the Pacquiao fight live (and I don't care much about boxing, sorry). My friends will all be busy as well because it's a Sunday... meaning it's time for cramming schoolwork... plus Sunday's usually a family day. So anyway, the point is that he will be out there having fun while I will be home alone doing homework, and I guess I'm just being silly and stupid feeling sorry for myself and being jealous of him, and being upset in the process because he won't make time for me... but I know he'll make time for me on Monday. So I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Oh God, the more I talk about it, the stupider I sound. It's just that I'm a girl and I PMS and sometimes my emotions get out of control, and they don't agree with what's logical. What's logical is for me to stop being such a baby and just let my boyfriend have his share of fun, and I could just look for something else to do to keep me busy. But this heart of mine wants me to feel otherwise. It wants me to sulk and be sad and think of how pathetic I am. And since there is this clash in my system, and I do not want to get angry at my boyfriend (because I have no right to be in the first place), I resort to getting angry at myself, because I'm being stupid. And being angry at myself is bad. It makes me want to hurt myself... by punching my walls and stuff. Which is TERRIBLE!!!

Thus, this rant. Ok, this made me feel better. I'm sorry if this sounded really stupid. I just really needed to let that out.

[kagiron]

you have one hell of an attitude there friend... dont let it corrupt your mind. as it may corrupt your current difficult long distance relationship.. work on it.. i know you can... i was able to overcome mine.. we share the same attitude problem years ago...

[talkshowsonmute]

it's all in your head.

[C2.Apple]

Hi guys. Thanks for the replies.

Yes, believe it or not, I know it's all in my head. As you can read from my post I was very confused with what I was saying because I know the logical thing to do, but my heart/feelings just get in the way... because I miss him too much. I just need to control getting too emotional. It makes me weak. He handles it way better than I do... he misses me, but he knows how to prevent himself from being all depressed. I'm a sap... so I cry a lot. Usually in front of him, when we talk on skype.

Don't worry, I don't let these things get us into arguments. Actually, we hardly ever fight, because we always talk about our problems with each other. He is very patient with me, and I try to be patient with him as well. It's just that I'm more in touch with my feelings most of the time, and sometimes, they get out of control... especially when I PMS. Like right now.

I just need people to rant to... I need someplace to release all my feelings, because I cannot keep them pent up. I think if I do, it'll just make matters worse, and I might shower them all on my boyfriend, who is very undeserving of all that, because it is really not his fault at all. He does his best, and I am very thankful for him.

Thanks again for reading. I just really needed ranting space.

[harrypotterfan]

you're very lucky to have a boyfriend like that girl plus with the way things are going between you two despite the distance, you're blessed that your relationship is surviving one of the most difficult obstacle that a relationship could ever have. yes, i could only attribute that kind of feeling with PMS. don't worry, it'll pass. i hate that time of the month as well.

[chopil]

its all in the mind..

just live your life muna para di mo sya ma miss..

[C2.Apple]

Originally Posted by harrypotterfan

you're very lucky to have a boyfriend like that girl plus with the way things are going between you two despite the distance, you're blessed that your relationship is surviving one of the most difficult obstacle that a relationship could ever have. yes, i could only attribute that kind of feeling with PMS. don't worry, it'll pass. i hate that time of the month as well.

Thanks. I'm glad you understand my PMSing. It really sucks. I'll try harder to be more patient and clear my mind.

[harrypotterfan]

Originally Posted by C2.Apple

Thanks. I'm glad you understand my PMSing. It really sucks. I'll try harder to be more patient and clear my mind.

i do understand you girl i feel the same way too, when i'm PMSing, i tend to think stupid and crazy things too. sometimes, i'd just lock myself in my room and try to read books. it'll pass. goodluck to you and your boyfriend.

[saveitforlater]

Is it true? that PMS can be such a big "killer"?

Oh well.. I guess you gals are..normal? (hopefully)
Weird for us guys but I think it's somehow "acceptable."
Hope you'll feel better soon miss TS.
Good luck with school, LDR, and battling those PMS attacks.

[purpleheadd07]

TS, please don't let PMS get into your head and use it each time you'll have "outbreaks" as this one. yeah, we can be all too emotional and irrational sometimes but of course we can always take control.

note that not all guys dig and understand this so be wary and not use this as an excuse each time.

[C2.Apple]

Originally Posted by saveitforlater

Is it true? that PMS can be such a big "killer"?

Oh well.. I guess you gals are..normal? (hopefully)
Weird for us guys but I think it's somehow "acceptable."
Hope you'll feel better soon miss TS.
Good luck with school, LDR, and battling those PMS attacks.

Oh yes it's a BIG pain. Like sometimes I just HATE my boyfriend for no apparent reason... or for reasons that he has no control of, like him not being here. And sometimes I just blurt out that I hate him, and he gets all confused, so I have to back it up with "I really didn't mean that, I'm just PMSing, but yeah, I really don't like you right now..." ...which makes it even more confusing. LOL. But he's used to it now, after I've explained it many times, and he's so patient about it. I really love him for being that way. I'm really lucky to have him, that's why it makes me even more upset (towards myself) whenever there are times when I feel dislike towards him for very petty things... when he really doesn't deserve it!

Originally Posted by purpleheadd07

TS, please don't let PMS get into your head and use it each time you'll have "outbreaks" as this one. yeah, we can be all too emotional and irrational sometimes but of course we can always take control.

note that not all guys dig and understand this so be wary and not use this as an excuse each time.

Yes. I really do try my best to take control. I have to! Thanks for being supportive guys, this is really helping me.

[saveitforlater]

it's natural for us humans to always ask for something bigger..
we tend to oversee those small blessings that we should really be thankful for. so when you're about to hate him, think of the small things why you love him..then hopefully it can make you feel better.
women's hormonal thing can sometimes be such a lame excuse.

[C2.Apple]

Originally Posted by saveitforlater

it's natural for us humans to always ask for something bigger..
we tend to oversee those small blessings that we should really be thankful for. so when you're about to hate him, think of the small things why you love him..then hopefully it can make you feel better.
wome's hormonal thing can sometimes be such a lame excuse.

Yes it is. But it happens. Usually, however, there is some event behind the PMS which the PMS just intensifies. Like the real thing causing my sadness could be just the mere fact that he is not here with me, plus he is out with his friends and he won't be home until really late. Normally, if I do not PMS, I just become sad, but try to do other productive things to get my mind off of it. But if I PMS, that feeling is intensified which leads me into being overly emotional, crying everywhere, and disliking my boyfriend for it. BUT, my brain fortunately still works when I PMS. So while I'm crying, there is a huge part of me that KNOWS that the reason I'm crying is not viable enough, and that I should stop because I'm being stupid. But during those times, feelings win mostly, and knowing that I'm being stupid makes me feel even worse than I already feel, thus it makes me cry more. So that part, I have to work on.

Well, I hope you boys understand how it is. Fortunately, my boyfriend understands me well and has no qualms about my PMS. But for others, if your girlfriend blames PMS, she may have a point. But it usually has a real reason behind it, she just might be too scared to point it out and blame PMS. But take it from me, PMS definitely makes negative emotions worse... so if you piss her off by doing something really small, if she's PMSing, she won't just be pissed off, she'll be furious.

[saveitforlater]

it's inevitable dear..we all have to live with it
let's just be thankful you found someone who'll understand your PMS attacks and somehow tolerate the pain it brings

[C2.Apple]

Originally Posted by saveitforlater

it's inevitable dear..we all have to live with it
let's just be thankful you found someone who'll understand your PMS attacks and somehow tolerate the pain it brings

Yes! Very thankful.

[CrazyBoutShady]

hello dear,

just be strong. i was once in your shoes. the others are right, just be thankful that he exerts effort to find time to talk to you. at that time, i did not know what i want. i wanted him to spend time with his friends so he wont feel so lonely but when he does, i get upset...probably because of jealousy because im all alone while he's having fun. it didnt help that i kind of stopped going out with friends when we got together cuz i was great just hanging out at home with my then bf, now my husband.

my advice is set a date as to when you guys should see each other again. this way you'll have something to look forward and lessen the frustration. with me, i made a way to see him. i became an FA. 7 months of not seeing him was a ***** but trust me, if you get past the LDR, your relationship will be much stronger.

[C2.Apple]

Originally Posted by CrazyBoutShady

hello dear,

just be strong. i was once in your shoes. the others are right, just be thankful that he exerts effort to find time to talk to you. at that time, i did not know what i want. i wanted him to spend time with his friends so he wont feel so lonely but when he does, i get upset...probably because of jealousy because im all alone while he's having fun. it didnt help that i kind of stopped going out with friends when we got together cuz i was great just hanging out at home with my then bf, now my husband.

my advice is set a date as to when you guys should see each other again. this way you'll have something to look forward and lessen the frustration. with me, i made a way to see him. i became an FA. 7 months of not seeing him was a ***** but trust me, if you get past the LDR, your relationship will be much stronger.

Wow. Thanks for your advice. It feels nice to have someone know exactly how I feel because of a shared experience. This encouraged me a lot.


I'm feeling quite sad again... I really want to go to the states next summer so I could visit him... but I got denied a US visa the last time because I'm graduating and "I don't have enough roots in the Philippines to make me come back and so that they could be sure that I won't overstay in America." I'm planning to try again but it seems like once I am denied, I shouldn't pursue it after some time, with a real good reason. Sigh. I want to meet his friends and family already.

[baklita]

it's prozac time. ayos din ang zyprexa... inom na. dali!

aihihihi!!!

baklits

[Gantt]

TS, ndi naman si david a. ang bf mo? hehehe

anyways, you know what to do...
just love him ang he'll take care of lovin you

[~Golliwog]

TS magboxing ka na lang.