If the ring fits, will you marry me?

[T_Incognita]

I have known this guy for about 7 months now. We always go out together, watch movies together, eat out together, heck he even comes over to my place and eat lunch together (which left me no choice but to "miraculously" cook). Not only that, he would regularly call me night after night-- as soon as he walks out of that door from his job, he punches in my speed dial on his cell phone and rrriiinngg... we would talk with no limit until the wee hours of the morning--until he falls asleep. You see, whenever we go out, we occasionally would go with 4 of our other friends (2 couples). People often assume that we're a couple, we laugh it off saying the ever scratched-up, mangled line : " We're just very good friends.". And indeed we are. Over the past few months, our true colors has unravelled and I could say that we are both comfortable with each other and enjoy each other's company. Over the past few months, I have become his confidant and buddy.

However, no matter how hard I push this feeling deep down, it always forces its way up again. I decided to keep my distance, fearing that if I let myself (as cheesy as this may sound) fall for him, it will be irreversible and it will be hard to go back to that safe and comfortable place where platonic feelings reside. Yet because he has gotten so used to my company (and vice versa), I can't bring myself to shoo him away. The irreversible had happened. I'm inlove with him. I care so much for this guy. I wish a lot of good things about him. As any good friend would say " Whatever would make him happy, will make me happy".

For almost 9 years, him and his girlfriend has been together. Half of it had stood the test of a " long distance love affair" (so far). I know he loves her, so much.In three weeks, she will come and visit him and will be spending the next 3 weeks or so with him until she flies back home to Mother Land Philippines. Friends are supposed to be supportive , so that's what I've been trying to do. I try to be happy for him.

Last week, he dragged me to the mall because he said he wanted to do some shopping. We went to this one jewelry shop and said to me " Would you help me pick an engagement ring for my girl? I know you have good taste." With a heavy heart underneath a casual, excited facade, I helped him pick 'the ring'. It was the most beautiful one (and expensive one) in the whole selection.He then said "Your fingers are just about the size as my girl, can you try it on?". It was so hard sliding that ring into my finger, because I know that its symbol is meaningless in my hand.Like those headless, armless and legless mannequins we all see in department stores. They dress them with the best lingerie outfits for customers to see. But it's not meant to seduce anyone. It's just there. Just like my ring finger. It's just there to flaunt the symbol of a love that will never be mine.I held my hand out for him to see. As if on cue to shred my heart even more, the sales person said, "Wow, and this must be the lucky lady". Forcing myself to look unaffected I said with a laugh " Oh no, I'm not his fiance' " :(. He plans to propose to her during her visit. He plans to marry her next year and asked me to be his 'wedding singer'. Oh dear :).

So the countdown continues until she comes and visits him. Naturally, he wanted me to meet her. I can't. It's not that I hate her, I just don't trust myself on what I would feel when I see them together. Call me selfish but I've already made plans to go up north to visit family and friends and come back on the last few days of her visit. I know it's not right for me to do that--to be self centered and seem as though I don't care at all if my best friend would be hurt because I didn't make the time to meet the most significant person in his life. He would be hurt, probably have suspicions and a thousand questions to ask me. Questions that will demand explanations. The truth is, I do care and that caring is the one that will screw whatever I have with him. I now realize that I can not be a good friend to him because of what I am feeling. I believe that I am being unfair to him because of my actions. He deserves a better friend. How could I explain to him what I'm going through? Explaining what I feel is my last resort and it is in no means to justify the inevitable fact that he will be hurt by my actions. I'm screwed. Thank God for Pex, I could now vent.I feel much better now. Sorry if this thread is sooo long. I really don't expect that much of a response but thank you for 'listening'.

[Edited by T_incognita on 03-15-2001 at 08:12 AM]

[FineST]

put this way, if you love somebody, just set it free. i think thats the best gift you could give yourself and the guy, tell him how you feel, but that is if you are prepared for whatever the outcome will be, just be strong. you guys are very good friends, keep it that way, be happy for him, tell him what you feel. just be prepared.

goodluck,

[BadGiRL]

Awww...

Alam mo, if u don't tell him how you feel before he gets married, would u live it down? I mean, would like to spend the rest of your life wondering and wondering about what might have been?

Why don't u tell him how you feel but assure him that whatever happens friends parin kayo. But be sure that you are ready to face the consequences. It's scary. That's true. But what if? D ba?

And from what you've told us, I sincerely doubt na wala syang nafefeel for you. I know guys are manhid, but I doubt ganon ka manhid. If he is manhid nga, then you deserve better.

In any case, good luck.

God bless.

[LHFchick]

...parang movie! something like my best friends wedding?

all i can say is...LET GO. let go of the feelings but never stop being his friend. if you two are really meant to be, in time you will be together. at the meantime, give yourself a break! give more attention to yourself and do things that would make you feel good about yourself.

good luck..kaya mo yan!

[ina]

Originally posted by LHFchick
...parang movie! something like my best friends wedding?

exactly what i was thinking! :D
maybe you should watch that movie and see how it turns out.. and take your cue from there.

goodluck dearie!


:angel:

[zero_eight]

i suggest you watch the movie "THE WEDDING PLANNER", coz the story of that movie is just like yours,yun nga lang siya naman *** wedding planner nung guy she's in love with! AWWW!!!!i think kahit papano you'll learn from that movie.

[PGCdolphin]

Ang hirap naman ng situation mo! Grabe! Ang sakit! I feel for you! I know you have other wonderful friends who can comfort you and keep u company. Thank them and spend more time with them to keep your mind off this issue. Ano ngang gagawin mo pag andyan na gf nya? Hirap. Magtataka yung frend mo kung di ka magpapakita. Ewan...kung pwede lang maging invisible ng isang buwan no? Heheheh...just trying to cheer u up lang! :)

[T_Incognita]

I truly appreciate all the replies. I was pleasantly surprised that people even read my thread. Yes I had seen My Best Friend's Wedding as well as Wedding Planner. Thanks again so much. Take care always.

['lil_me]

What happened if the ring won't fit? Just playing! just follow your heart, i know it sounds corny but the answer can be found is in you. ;)

[FineST]

ano nga ba nangyari sa my best friends wedding.

[MsJoelle]

my initial reaction after reading ur post: ... :( ... OUCH! ... :( ...

ewan, ang hirap! ... probably, you really have to tell him na siguro what you feel ... pero, if you can, JUST LET GO! ... in the first place, you shouldn't have let yourself fall for him that much upon learning that he has a girl na! ... hmm, it's like im reminding myself too bout :zzz: ... oh, well, ganun talaga, dapat nung na-confirm mo na may gf na nga siya, LET GO mo na ...

x's. parang My Best Friend's Wedding, Wedding Planner at Wedding Singer ... naks, pang movie ang storya mo! ... :D ...

[gasoline]

[i]awwwww ang sweet naman :)

[Constance]

Keep it cool girl ;). Life is still worth living regardless of how many "J-lo's, Adam Sandlers and Julia Roberts" roles we all have to endure in this film we call life, it's up to us to make the most out of it. Good luck.

[myangel]

GRABE....ANG SAKIT NAMAN!!! sobra!!! i cant imagine the pain you are in now!

those who replied are right, tell him na lang but be prepared to what's gonna happen next!!! dahil sometimes kahit pa sabihin mong you'll remain friends, mahirap pa rin ang epekto eh. basta be strong na lang..."after rains, there's rainbow!"

good luck.

[myangel]

I've read this from the other thread ages ago from the pexers named babyFats and when i've read your story yesterday, i've tried to look for this thread again to let you read it. It might give you the courage to tell him...


A Sad Love Story

It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together. I would tell him all my secrets. He was quite very quiet, he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him
easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I hought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling. All through high school
and even through graduation we were always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him. I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was ling. I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always
had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York. I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart. Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The ig church wedding and the reception at the hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me. I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on with my life. As the ears went on we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things. I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore. Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been doing and to catch up on old times. But in all of this I couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed he had fun and forgot about all his problems and his divorce. I fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried.
I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we were together. One day he didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a Lawyer in New York. The Lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken hearted I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions, why did this happen to a kind guy like him? I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the
will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a diary that of his life. I cried as it was given to me. I didn't know what to think. Why was this given to me? I took it and flew back to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary and what was written. The diary was started the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that
he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another. How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the
best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by
me. Finally, the diary ended when it said "today I will tell her
I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.



I realized na sabi mo 9 yrs na sila, well you can just tell him casually and dont expect for any returns dahil he seems so serious about his gf.

darating din si mr.right, dont u worry!

[Golgi]

Best of of luck to you. Masakit I know, it's up to you kung gusto mong malaman niya ang nararamdaman mo. Pero ask yourself rin kung anong response ang ine expect mo OR anong response ang HINDI mo ine expect. Take care.

[powerpuff]

ouch! :(

i guess you should just let go. if u do tell him ur feelings, he might stay away from u. The friendship will never be the same n u guys will feel really awkward when ur together.

[supreme goddess]

incognita,

please tell him...please.....

you will never be able to live with yourself if you keep your feelings a secret till the day you meet your Creator..

if both of you have become such good friends, then this revelation will withstand all kinds of reactions that could possibly ruin your friendship...

please, i do not know you but eversince i read your post, i have been givng it much thought.. please take my word for it...do not "let the moment pass you by"....

[PGCdolphin]

Musta ka na T_Incognia? Did she arrived na? Have u made a decision to tell him? Pls. keep us posted! :) Hope whatever happens it'll all fall in place for you!

[T_Incognita]

It's been awhile...I just thought I'd share it.

She came over. It was so awkward though. During her visit, he tried to call me. I wouldn't take the call at all. In other words, I've ran out of excuses to not show up. My visit up north didn't push through but I lied to my friends anyway, and pretended that I was in San Francisco. It's not easy to try to be discreet in those three weeks. I went straight home after work and hoped for the best that I don't ran into them.

When she went back to the Philippines. I , by "coincidence" came back from SF. We all fell back to our usual routine....

..but a lot of things had happened since then. It may be a happy ending for some, but I also know that there would be people who would crinkle their noses out of distaste. It turns out that he feels the same way for me but he's also understandably torn. I care so much about him, I am for whatever would make him happy. I didn't force myself nor did I make him choose between us. All I said was Whatever you decide I will respect that..but please don't expect things to be ever the same again, it will never be. Part of me was very happy but I can't crank this happiness handle all the way. Everything was pending... He went to the Philippines last Decemeber, he went there to clear his mind and find out for himself.....he told his family about us. He stayed in the Philippines for a month.....broke the engagement...

and went back to the U.S to be with me.

:)

[Queen_of_Blades]

hihihihihihiihihihiihihiihiihihihihihihi

:)

*sigh*

Happy ending for some...

At least yours turned out like The Wedding Singer.

:hopeless:

[ladyanne]

Originally posted by T_Incognita
It's been awhile...I just thought I'd share it.

She came over. It was so awkward though. During her visit, he tried to call me. I wouldn't take the call at all. In other words, I've ran out of excuses to not show up. My visit up north didn't push through but I lied to my friends anyway, and pretended that I was in San Francisco. It's not easy to try to be discreet in those three weeks. I went straight home after work and hoped for the best that I don't ran into them.

When she went back to the Philippines. I , by "coincidence" came back from SF. We all fell back to our usual routine....

..but a lot of things had happened since then. It may be a happy ending for some, but I also know that there would be people who would crinkle their noses out of distaste. It turns out that he feels the same way for me but he's also understandably torn. I care so much about him, I am for whatever would make him happy. I didn't force myself nor did I make him choose between us. All I said was Whatever you decide I will respect that..but please don't expect things to be ever the same again, it will never be. Part of me was very happy but I can't crank this happiness handle all the way. Everything was pending... He went to the Philippines last Decemeber, he went there to clear his mind and find out for himself.....he told his family about us. He stayed in the Philippines for a month.....broke the engagement...

and went back to the U.S to be with me.

:)

haaaay.. u know what? it is good for you.. but come to think of it.. one of you is hurt right now. 9 years isnt dat short.. :(

[Mickey2000]

:mickey:
wow! cute naman ng love story mo,parang fairy tale "and they live happily everafter" goodluck!

[empty_space]

"If I wring your neck, will you bury me." :glee:

:rolleyes:

[ina]

aww.... :love:

i'm such a sucker for happy endings. glad to see that things turned out well in the end. :beam:



:angel:

[T_Incognita]

it was so unexpected, it happened in the parking lot of all places after work one day. He handed me a box and I couldn't help it. I started crying. Inside is an engagement ring, our engagement ring. He proposed last May. We are going to get married this August.

I read back at the opening post. It's amazing, I didn't see it coming...all these things....

[LaTtE`M]

Originally posted by ladyanne


haaaay.. u know what? it is good for you.. but come to think of it.. one of you is hurt right now. 9 years isnt dat short.. :(

time doesn't matter, it's the quality of the relationship that matters.

T_Incognita, in fairness, napaka-movie nitong story mo! :glee:

Goodluck! *okay*

[biach]

nice story...mala best friends wedding :bigcry:...anyway,sad to say but youve got no choice but to move on ***** destiny has it na u guys are better off as friends then as lovers.....well,atleast youre friends:shrug2:

[LaTtE`M]

Originally posted by biach
nice story...mala best friends wedding :bigcry:...anyway,sad to say but youve got no choice but to move on ***** destiny has it na u guys are better off as friends then as lovers.....well,atleast youre friends:shrug2:

hindi ka nagbabasa... :bop: Nagkatuluyan sila 'no! :lol:

[j3n9]

:*) grabeeee...ganda ng ending ng story mo ms. T_incognita ... :love:




best wishes sa inyo!!... :sweet:

[Ives]

thank you for sharing your story with us, T_incognita.

somehow, nakakatuwa kse shempre, he chose to be with you. and that's good for you, we can feel that you're really happy right now. *** lang, i was wondering how his gf for 9 yrs felt when he left.

it happens pala. kala ko sa pocketbooks ko lang nababasa. kahit pala ganun katagal eh pwede pa din mauwi sa wala. sorry po pero somehow your story scares me coz' you know, me and my boyfriend are on our 9th year.

God, it happens pala .... :rolleyes:

Ivy

[dz_angel]

oh wow! kinikilig naman ako sa story nyo... it's like a romance novel...

i'm glad it worked out for you. my very best wishes! :bounce:

thanks for sharing your story... it gives us "singles" some hope...

:lovesigh:

[biach]

Originally posted by LaTtE`M


hindi ka nagbabasa... :bop: Nagkatuluyan sila 'no! :lol:
huh???kala ko kase nagend up as friends eh..haba kasi eh:smokehead:......o well gotta get back to my project*pexadik*

[mallows]

t_incognita's my fwend...gwabe m so happy talaga things turned out well for you...sana i can say the same thing for me no? hehe.. well anyways...best wishes! jan na wedding kaya nde na ko abay...lolz...unless...........padalhan mo ko ng pang punta jan.. :)

[aZi]

wow.. whattastory.. this is kind of embarassing.. but i was teary-eyed while reading it.. :)

good for you T_incognita.. awww...

[Wittygurl]

Wooaaahhh... I never thought it would be a happy ending.. Best wishes to both of you :)

[Triglyceride]

:wave: MALLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *HUG* Nagkita kami ni Fifi and Sharone this past weekend!!! :bounce:

...wedding date is on Aug 17th. I could see myself na, I'll be crying my eyes out :glee: Punta ka dito...alam mo, we were thinking about you and we wished talaga that you were here with us..miss ka na namin!!! I'll send you pics.

Lilipat sila dito :bounce: YAY!!!!! Lapit na sila sa akin :D


oh ....my turn..

T_Incognita is my friend too :D . We were there as their story unfolded. When she told me how he proposed to her, wala na...naiyak ako :glee: Hello...naiiyak nga ako as I'm typing this.

In the movies, they make it look so easy pero it's not. We were witnesses to that. It wasn't an easy road for T_Inc. and her fiance'. But I always knew they were gonna end up together. But still, nakaka overwhelm...

best wishes my dear *hug* I'm so happy for you.

[topak_fos]

napaka-feel good story naman nito. :)

tama sabi nung isang PEXer it gives us "singles" some hope, a light in the end of a very looooooooooooooonnnnggg tunnel.

isang patotoo (ala Dating Daan) na kapag para sa isat-isa talaga kayo eh kayo kahit anong mangyari.

now i have to wait how long will that be 4 me. i'm quite tired of waiting. :hopeless:

[Shofixti]

T_incognita: Do you have a sister by any chance??

:lol: :glee:


Kakainlove nmn story mo.

[Triglyceride]

Just an update about T_Incognita who is a dear friend of mine ..:D


They got married, as I mentioned August of '02.She wanted me to thank everyone for the posts that were made in here and she wanted me provide this update:

They just had a baby boy June of this year!


so congratulations to the new parents! :up:

[anne_373]

wow this is what you call a real happy ending!

[pink_punk_409]

aNG GANDA naman ng kuwento. Kse pa deny deny pa nung una. Sayang wala na siguro tym si T mag post kase she's very busy with her new family. Kakakakilig...ako medyo yung reverse naman ng kuwento niya...

Hayyyy....babies...and husbands and all...di pa yan ang ending...it's the start. Sa mga friends ni T...balitaan niyo naman kami...

[baklita]

ganoon din sakin... the ring fits real good... dinala ko sa bahay sanlaan... lintsak... pwit ng baso!

napapaluha na **** ako... napuwing ksi!!

aihihihi!!!

baklita

[Ysmin]

Originally posted by topak_fos
napaka-feel good story naman nito. :)

tama sabi nung isang PEXer it gives us "singles" some hope, a light in the end of a very looooooooooooooonnnnggg tunnel.

isang patotoo (ala Dating Daan) na kapag para sa isat-isa talaga kayo eh kayo kahit anong mangyari.

now i have to wait how long will that be 4 me. i'm quite tired of waiting. :hopeless:

don't fed-up for waiting the person that is for you...

God luck:*)

[sofia g9]

Wow. I'm speechless after reading her story and what has transpired over the past few years.

Wala lang. It started out as a bleak thread and then it turned out to be really good.

[Ysmin]

yes ur right isn't it like a fairy tale?

[tina11]

Fairy tales do come true :lovesigh:

[ski_JeRZe]

wow. . . :love: