aspiring poets

[jean!e]

share a poem or two
you'll never know
how fate would go
the next great poet could be you.

[Kamatayan]

Kill, Kill, Kill
Die, Die, Die
Mutilate, Mutilate, Mutilate

Gotta work on that iambic parameter thing...

[^AnGeL_SoNnEt^]

Nakakahiya naman ito...anyway...

What?
1998

I look at myself in the mirror
And I see so many reflections:
Some of mine,
Some of someone else.
I get lost in the eyes of the person before me.
I stare at disbelief;
I stare with pride;
I am aware,
Yet I am confused.
Who am I?
Who is she?
"Who are you?", I ask.
I don't get an answer.
All I see are tears filling up those deep eyes.
Tears of joy?
Tears of Pain?
Tears of guilt…?
I don't know…
I wouldn't know…



Freedom

Bounded to the ground by unseen chains and shackles
Smoldered with mud dirt and grease.
Downcast skies
Enhancing your grief.
Break free.
Break loose.
Fly to the infinite horizons…
To the sky…
Your life is in your hands.
Break free
Break loose
Fly
Fly
Fly….


*NYEKKKKKKKKKKKK*DUHHHH* =PPPPPPP

[roydz]

The Dream
As I lay, I think of you
I fall asleep, dream of you
You were there in my dreams
Almost reality, so it seems

We were in a garden, you and me
Wandering through the greenery
Surrounded by flowers, trees and leaves
What a pleasure this feeling gives

Then at night we cuddle up
Warm each other with all our love
As the day breaks at the crack of dawn
We caress the bright warm sun

You and I will always be free
All to ourselves for all eternity
We were blessed by the sky above
And enshrined by land with our love

Alas the time came to set you free
I, left alone nobody pities me
The dream ended so very abruptly
I awake from my dream, oh pity me

http://www.diablo2.com/crossroads/smileys/smiley83.gif

[dee-dee]

hmmm...sobrang amature kasi eh. at napaka-angst ridden pa. it's more of an outlet thing. siguro...next time, i-post ko yung ibang poems ko dito.

[sway_k]

"Strangers and Moonbeams"

A Solitary, nomadic midnight,
the thoughts of your idle pose
straying aimlessly upon branches
of my unwavering trees. Time used,
Time wasted on futile meditations
and pensiveness just because of you.
And you do not even know my name.

I rest my eyes on you, they were
unfaithful eyes; but you never knew...
You never noticed the sweet stench
of unfeasible desire hovering in the
air, the obscure rythmic motion of
snarled words on my tongue, the sudden
smile on my face when you arrive.

I am wasting precious time with an
intruder, an invader of a once pragmatic
sense; Gray matter in such disarray,
Reason has left me with shackles
on my feet. All for nothing. All for
a wothless gnawing of grievious pain.
Another trampling on the meager heart.

I am inferior to your knowing eyes,
your cerebral use of language, words are
so natural, so artless and unconstrained
when it comes from you. In fact, they are you,
they are depictions, portrayals of the
character that you are. So now you know why
I need to stop this tireless seed from growing.

I feel myself yielding into moonshine
oblivion again, an ephemeral road trip to
decaying woods, a transient path that will
die a natural death after some time.
I will release myself into the chants
of careless emotions, I will test
how cold the water is on your river.

While these are the last lines I write
for you, these are your cherished remains,
your final, concluding chapter on my book.
The lines and cuts of your lips, the
burning fragrance of desire in the air,
the painting of your idle, slothful eyes
all embedded on the hymn of these verses.

[In your face]

I see why you call yourselves aspiring poets.

Don't aim too high

[*happy*phantom*]

It is difficult to write poetry. I respect all those who post their works for others to read and possibly critique. Of course, when you post, expect both pleasant and unpleasant comments. How else can one improve without constructive criticism. As I had said in the other threads, aspiring poets should be intelligent enough to know which comments can help them improve and which comments are just plain destructive.

[In your face]

listen happy phantom, first of all we are all entitled to our own opinions here and only teenage hoes with herpes would be shallow enough to take offense on a criticism offensive or otherwise.

believe me happy phantom, I'll go ballistic the next time.

What I said was, your Poems simply S-U-C-K. okay? No offense.

[brownpau]

In your face haiku series.


speaks without substance
and there is nothing that is
really in your face.

[brownpau]

anger and falsehood.
folly distilled. thrown about.
typed and scrolled. faceless.

[*happy*phantom*]

Originally posted by In your face
listen happy phantom, first of all we are all entitled to our own opinions here and only teenage hoes with herpes would be shallow enough to take offense on a criticism offensive or otherwise.

believe me happy phantom, I'll go ballistic the next time.

What I said was, your Poems simply S-U-C-K. okay? No offense.

The quote above is a prime example of destructive criticism and as I had said in my previous post "aspiring poets should be intelligent enough to know which comments can help them improve and which comments are just plain destructive".

[rhye_stardust]

1 of the poems I made that I really loved...

When you looked at me through your hooded eyes
For the first time, I felt assured, nice
You smiled at me and my heart came to life
Unlike before, when it seemed slashed by a knife.

When you held my hand, I felt alive, loved
You eased all my pains with a simple touch
When I felt alone and cold, you put your arm around me
I was surprised, but I smiled and leaned.

When you looked into my eyes and complimented
My long-broken heart was mended
And when you looked into my eyes and said I love you
I could tell you were sincere, so I said I love you too.

But what happpened now?
Your hooded eyes are now brimming with tears
And I doubt that that was not my reacton too

Your lips quivered as you gave me one last kiss
And said I you would surely miss
At that my eyes flooded with tears
As the time of your departure nears

My hand clutched your without letting go,
I am afriad all of the good memories you would throw
But when you tear trickled unto my hand
The overwheming fear in me ran.

Your eyes expressed the deepest, deepest sadness,
And your hand ever so gently my face carressed.
Then you keld me close to your heart
And at that moment, all seemed so dark

You released me with reluctance so great
And said to me, it is destined by fate
Soon you and me will touch each toher again
Because this life is just a cruel game

I am happy to tel you I am still here
With emotions such as grief, anxiety, and fear
I'll be waiting for you until the end of time
Until the Lord will give us destiny so fine.

:lily:

[piggy]

in your face...can you tell us exactly what S-U-C-K-E-D about the poems? maybe the poets can work from there...just plain saying it S-U-C-K-E-D is kinda wrong without any justification...

[piggy]

Eternally

Eternally,
not fleeting, nor momentary,
that is how much I need you.

Forever,
not for a second, nor for a day,
that is how long I will want you.

As the butterfly flutters,
from flower to flower,
to nourish itself.
I will not stray from the rose that is you.
And when you can no longer feed me,
my touch will never leave your touch

I will stay,
and sadly, surely, I will die,
yet I will never abandon you,
when it is you that has become my life,
and my life has nothing but you.

Perpetual,
as folklore is passed from generation to generation,
memories of you are all that I will ever remember.
My spirit will seek you in the world after this,
for death is but a moment,
and the pain will be brief.

I will love you eternally