what traits do a typical pinay want from a guy?

[jack]

what do the modern pinay look for a guy?
whether in a date or long-term partner?
mas liberal na ba ang pinay todaY? well, its time to open my dear friends!!!

[Ada]

Marunong maglaba, mamalantsa, magluto, at magpalit ng diapers. ;)

Seriously, I don't think the changing times mean that there will be a corresponding change in what traits females look for in a guy. I'm quite sure that what we look for in a guy are the same traits our mothers looked for during their time.

I can't speak for all females but my friends and I agree that a guy should be: God-centered, responsible, faithful (*ahem* Marooned) and a gentleman. It wouldn't hurt either if he knew how to do the dishes. ;)

Jack, lemme throw the question back at ya: What do you guys look for in girl these days?

[nix]

What we guys look for in a lady is someone who is sensitive (this shouldn't be hard), thoughtful, malambing, understanding, and casts a wonderful smile.

[ChiQui]

Hi nix...

Hmmm.. what do pinays look for in a guy? I would say, we basically look for a sweet, sensitive, understanding and caring guy. We need someone who can lend a shoulder and a hand when we need it. We need someone to be our confidante. We need someone who can be our friend as well as a "special" person in our lives. Is this too much? Personally, I don't think so. Because what we pinays look for in a guy is what we look for in a friend and I don't think being a friend is no hard task for anybody, least of all men. :)

[jack]

Oh come girls!!! Let's be realistic here. Don't u consider the financial aspect? Kung papapiliin ko kayo ng dalawang manliligaw : one sinusundo ka ng kanyang BMW while the other pajeep jeep lang kayo. DOes having a car add on to one's pogi points?

By saying that the preference never changed through times, well, di ba may parents na got married dahil inarrange? you mean, you want your parents to choose the guy's for you? do you consider ba yung mga gusto ng mga parents nyo?

how abt looks?
As for guys, anong tipo namin? well, let's make it specific here...type maging wife or is it crush lang. Well kung asawa na ang paguusapan i guess sinabi na ninyo ang qualities na dapat sa isang tao (regardless of gender). when it comes to crushes , it hink a lot of guys like mestisa, maputi and i guess "social". there are also guys though who prefer morena or simple but in a society where the natural skin color is brown: i think advantage kung maputi ka (that's why Block and white sells)!!

[Ada]

Hi Jack!

If he has a BMW but he's a complete @$$hole, I'd go for commuting anytime. I'd like to believe that personality still comes ahead of looks and wealth, but some girls say they are only being "practical" when they look for a guy who has oodles of money.

I would never let my parents dictate on who I should or should not marry. But if they were against the guy, I would hear them out. After all, they've got my best interest in mind so why should I think that they're just out to make it hard for me?

Looks don't matter much as long as he has a great personality. I think guys are more particular when it comes to looks while females tend to look for someone who can understand them.

By the way, even if a guy isn't so drop-dead gorgeous as long as he practices good grooming -- cuts his nails and keeps them clean, shaves, gets a haircut... that will definitely jack up his pogi points. ;)

[Genevieve]

basically looks do matter and d financial stuff BUT THIS THINGS R WHAT U LOOK 4 when ur younger (like high sch maybe) as u mature u look 4 d sensible one!! I personally go 4 guys w/ brains and has a good sense of humor. Someone who can be my "friend" even if wr more than just friends and d most important r someone who lets u be urself and knows his limitations Ü

[jack]

well, what if the guy is sensible, sensitive, good lover but walang pera? di ba, ayaw rin ninyo noon? he wouldnt be good if he couldnt provide food in the table diba? sometimes money can buy personality... maraming bumait dahil sa pera and some ppl are forced to be rude because of their financial situation.

ada: how can one have a good haircut if wala syang pera?

u girls are so idealistic here but in relaity looks does matter. do u remeber when you're in highschool u only notice the cute guys from the other school and those mabait na ppl blazes into obsucurity (kahit in college or sa work).

be honest naman!!!! Physical attraction exists!!
if assuming everything is equal will you for a troy montero over a spencer reyes?

[This message has been edited by jack (edited 08-17-1999).]

[shiva]

okay, i must admit, looks do matter. yup, they do. why?! well, for the obvious reason that i can't imagine living the rest of my life with someone who's looks i simply can not stand!!!

to clarify, i'm not hell-bent on finding an Adonis, okay. but i'm all for guys who are able to carry themselves well!

(on a similar note: what's up with the oversized shirts and the baggy-'i'll clean the floors with my pants' look?!)

so, yes, looks do matter - but much like everything else, this fades, my friends... in the end, the one thing that endures is a person's soul - and i will not compromise that for anything - not money, not fame, not power - hey, not even troy montero's good looks...

i can't speak for all women, but i guess i'm just waiting for that moment... that one moment when all other considerations fail and you know that even if the person isn't everything you envisioned the 'one' to be, you'd be willing to work at having that chance to live everyday of your life with him...

so i guess, in that sense, i'm not looking for a particular anything in a guy - i'm just waiting for that moment...

[nix]

I have to agree with Shiva that at some point, especially at the start, the person's appearance will come into play. But there is such a thing as an X-Factor that magnetizes one to the other. Sometimes magic strikes the first time around, other times, it takes a while. But more often than not, there is no magic that happens at all.

I guess that's why it's no easy feat to find someone who can be right for you. What a person looks for doesn't always end up to be what a person really needs. Over time, as we mature, we have a different set of wants and needs. Maybe what we thought was so important before, becomes insignificant after all.

[Ada]

Hello Jack!

You mean he’s so poor that he can’t afford to get a haircut, or he’s one heck of a lazy shmuck which is why he’s jobless? If it’s the latter, he’ll definitely lose pogi points for his laziness. ;)

I never said looks don’t matter at all. I agree with what Shiva said: how can you stand to be around someone if you hate the way they look? Imagine waking up to the sight of that person every single day for the rest of your life?! Talk about torture man!

Yes, physical attraction exists, I don’t deny that. But if you think that good looks is solely what girls are interested in, then you’re dead wrong. Good looks won’t matter if you have the manners of a pig, a distorted sense of values, or utter disrespect for women. It won’t make up for being a slob or a jerk.
And if looks was all that mattered, how do you explain how women fall for not-so-gorgeous guys? I’m sure that having a great personality more than makes up for what a guy lacks in the looks department.

The person you’re interested in may have the looks of Troy Montero or Dayanara Torres, but will that matter 50 years from now? All of us will eventually turn old and gray. Wouldn’t it be better if we had someone to laugh, cry and have fun growing old with?

[ChiQui]

Honestly, I'm not one to go for the gorgeous/gwapo guys. I'm more into sex appeal kse. For example, a cute guy may pass in front of me and I'd notice him and say, "He's cute". Pero hanggang doon lang. I won't be giving him a second look or anything. But, if the guy has sex appeal... nakow... that's the type that makes me look a second time and even makes me bite my lip (hahahahhaa...just kidding).

I'd have to agree with Ada. She said that so what if a guy has a money but turns out to be a major a-hole? Jack, you have to give us gals the benefit of the doubt. We're not all into money, popularity, etc. Personally, I'd rather have a guy who had no money but is really smart. Smart in terms of I can have a really good conversation with him, etc. And pls don't say that kung wala ngang pera paano magiging smart kung nde nakapag-aral? Remember, education is not just in the classroom. Hehehehehe... :)

But really, I don't why most guys worry about having money to impress the gals. Sure, I can understand that inate feeling of wanting to provide for the one you love. To show your love by giving her everything (or at least most) her heart desires. As long as you've got a good personality, a great sense of humor, you'll go a long way with me. With or without money I don't care. Really. I don't. :)

[jack]

the type of man that u're looking for is either a priest or a "torpe". how can u find a god-fearing, marooned etc. guy that is an expert in flirting? usually a man gets better when it comes to wooing women through experience. if it happens to a typical pinay that the man she desires is a "torpe", will she make the first move?

[Ada]

ChiQui baby!

Atta go girl! Amen to what you said. Btw, Jack said you're looking for someone "marooned"? ;) <;lol>;

Jack,

Come on, don't frighten us by saying that no God-centered guy exists anymore. I'm already scared as it is. ;) Isn't katorpehan a state of mind? I'm sure any guy would snap out of it if he found the girl of his dreams; that, or be a bachelor happily ever after. ;)


[This message has been edited by Ada (edited 09-03-1999).]

[jack]

girls, how many pinoy males have passes ur standards ba? have u found the ideal mate u are describing or is it hanggan ilusyon na lang?

[ChiQui]

Hi Jack...

Many guys have passed my "standards"... but the main reason why we didn't have a relationship is because I wasn't ready for it then. Another reason was that some of them didn't pass my parent's standards... let's not forget..I also have a kuya... so... hmmm... pahirapan yata ito ah... :)

[jack]

i guess as Chiqui pointed out..one has to consider the preferences of the ppl close to him or her...kuya, nanay, tatay, barkada, etc. so what do these ppl want ba? are they ones who's going to spend the rest of their lives with ur chosen one (probably... :0)?

[ChiQui]

Hey Jack...

Honestly, sometimes I get irritated when people sort of "dictate" who they want for me. But I really can't blame them because these are the people who know me the best and care for me the most. Can you really blame them if they only want the best for you? :)

[nix]

Jack, you have to realize that just because someone sets standards for his or her ideal partner, it doesn't mean that that someone becomes shallow just because of these ideals.
I think that when a girl considers the financial aspect, they are not limiting this to the current buying power that a guy has, but more so, the ability of a guy to be more responsible enough to support himself, and maybe someday, a family. Tell you what, if you had a sister, would you want her to get married to a bum? Even if he had the nicest personality in the world, but he doesn't have the initiative to provide for his wife and kids, then what kind of ideal mate would he become?

Women and men choose their partners based on who the person is, not what car the person has or how white the person's skin is. The ideal will always exist for as long as you haven't found that special someone yet. And when you do, that person becomes the ideal, whether or not he or she has fit your (or your parents')original definition.

[jack]

you got a point there nix. but i didn't that women who chose men of wealth are shallow. i even pointed out that the financial aspect is important(same as emotional).

ive got a question to you girls, do u usually find your ideal personalities of a bf in your bf? i mean is it easy to find a guy with the exact configuration?

[ChiQui]

Hi Jack...

Actually, in all honesty, most girls would say that what you look for in a guy are most often than not NOT in your boyfriend. Some of the qualities are there but you really don't end up with your ideal guy. And they still work out. The wonders of love nga naman.. :)

[Mavi]

Okay, so you end up with someone who is not entirely your ideal. Would you just accept that as a fact?

That would be a pretty sad life if you ended up with someone who doesn't live up to your ideal. Would you really want to settle for someone less?

You gotta love yourself enough to know what you deserve to get. If you want someone malambing, don't expect to be happy with someone who is indifferent to such gestures. But a relationship doesn't have to end there just because he was sleeping when God was passing around kalambingan.

An important factor in all relationships, I think, is communication. Your bf might not have all the traits you want, but if each one is willing to change, or the better word would be to "grow" in that love, then that relationship has a fighting chance.

As ChiQui said, most really don't end up with their ideal guy but it can work!

[jack]

how about success? do u women prefer a man who is successful in some ways?(self made man)

[ChiQui]

Jack...

A self made man can't go wrong. But I'm not really that particular with success... as long as I see that he really makes an effort. :)

[ann]

the 90s lifestyle is too hectic & so results in stressed-out, depressed ppl ... what i want from my man is the gift of laughter ... make me laugh [not out of sarcasm pls] & keep me happy [it takes less than 20 pesos a day] ... and if i don't have to prove myself to u all the time & u don't go all-out to prove urself to me all the time, then u're my man ...

[jack]

sometimes we tend to be too simplistic with our choices. it is easy to say, i want this and i want that but i reality what comes to you first is usually what ull get diba? minsan we dont have the freedom of choice.

[jp.42]

To tell you guys of something…
Singaporean women prefer men who have a great amount of asset (in terms of belongings, profession, and money). In a mall, I've seen this nice Singaporean, a wowowieee type --- good looks, nice complexion, great hair, and excellent body. But later on, a dark colored not so good looking stinky Indian with long beard (sorry for the description but what gentle words can I apply, hehehe) approached her and walked together further like a perfect couple. I looked at myself and felt exactly like the elder brother in a McDonald's commercial --- "Ba't may dimple din naman ako ah… " My friend who worked there for 2 years told me that it is normal to see "Beauty and the Beast" in such places. And he added that his boss (in an architectural firm) who is an "Indian Pana" (but this time without the smell) has a pretty Singaporean wife. My friend also said to me that if you are not rich here in Singapore, you will find a hard time looking for a girlfriend because most (if not all) Singaporean girls prefer to have security in life than a good-looking nice lifetime partner. Very realistic, huh?

I don't know if this is right but I am aiming for a promotion though I will start working on the 16th (hehehe). Kidding aside, this encounter marked my mind that I should work not just hard but harder if "asset" is what you girls are looking for. Maybe I am wrong because of our difference in culture (Singaporeans and Filipinos) however as long as globalism has a very deep impact to everyone, this might not be far from reality. Please don't get me wrong. I am not saying that women nowadays are more materialistic, probably realistic, right? Anyway, having that kind of asset can assure security and I think that it can also make a difference.

[lipstick]

I think it is not how liberal women are now, but how prepared are men for commitment. I kmow you will disagree, but it is not a question on how liberal we women are, we are just given or allowed to make a choices, we know what we want and we simply go for it. What do women look for in a man? Simple, the same thing that you require for a woman.

[jack]

Thanks for your long reaction jp42. Do you think ppl here think that there's a cross-cultural difference of the preferences of women in looking for a partner in life?

[jp.42]

Nice straight answer, lipstick. I like it.

Jack, I think that there is a difference in the lifestyles of women here and abroad, particularly in Singapore. There are Filipinas from the province would prefer a domesticated life than an exhilarating one. And these women are easily satisfied of what the world has to offer. It's like "Ayos na ang payak na pamumuhay basta masaya." Singaporeans living one of the world's highest standards, do you think that there is no difference at all? The environment plays a big part on ones being and outlook about life. It's their way of life and if we can change that it may take time. I guess this is my view in a certain aspect.

But if cupid's arrows hit the couple straight in their hearts, just forget my long reaction above. It is hard to underestimate the power of love, diba?

[jack]

jp 42..ure topic is discussed in Marxist Anthropology. The relationships between man and woman is different in a capitalist, feudal, slaver, primitive, socialist and communist societies. Singapore is capitalist while the Philippines is quite feudal. In a capitalist society love is commodified ("it can be bought"). It seems that you're singaporean example shows that materialism is imminent among their women.

[jack]

type ba ninyo ang balbon?

[Ada]

Ano yun, carpet? Ayaw! ;)

Clean-cut rules!

[[L]es]

Hmm. One question ? What's your point of view on a great looking guy, maporma, pero sobrang kuripot. Pero mabait and sobrang sweet. Any takers ?

[bugsbunny]

basta yung sensitive sa nararamdaman ng babae, in this case, ME!
hindi dense, at as much as possible hindi masyadong shy na ikaw lagi ang "first move" pero hindi naman aggressive...
thoughtful, malambing...

i think halos lahat naman ng girls same ang sasabihin eh... yung sensitive sa needs nila...

[bayblishuz]

that's right bugs, most women crave for the same things...for men to be sensitive to their needs and feelings. Sobra na nga that sometimes we expect them to read our minds!!! Hahaha :)

As for your question [L]es: Ayokong ayoko ng kuripot. Kung kuripot sya pati sa sarili nya ie. di sya maporma (coz by maporma I'd take it na mamahalin ang mga damit nya) ok lang, kaso if he buys expensive clothes tapos kuripot sya sa akin, dehins pwede yon! Eh di kawawa naman ako, parang selfish sya diba? Gusto ko yung thoughtful (kahit na small things and not necessarily of value)kasi then you know he is thinking of u constantly.

[nut_meg]

for me i want a guy who would always be there for me, someone who i can talk to,show affection to, basta caring dapat and God fearing.

ayoko ng KURIPOT, i'm not saying na ayokong mag-spend for my boyfriend or a guy friend pero naman ha, guys SHOULD be the one to take care of the bill EXCEPT nalang if wala na talagang pera yung guy PERO kung mas madami pa rin' yung money ng guy i think the guy should spend for the girl.i have nothing against guys who are kuripot i myself kuripot din' ako pero when it comes to my boyfriend di' bale na kung hindi ako makabili ng stuff for myself basta i can buy him stuff na gusto nya'...i hope that answers your question LES.basta advice ko lang sa'yo don't make the girl spend on your first date..turn off kaagad yun no....

sa looks let me see...ano nga ba ang type ko?i'm into tall guys, and gustong gusto ko rin' yung fair skinned and neat tingan...a nice smile is a big plus.




[This message has been edited by nut_meg (edited 04-14-2000).]

[savage-]

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/blush.gif sensitivity http://www.pinoyexchange.com/blush.gif

[mparaz]

Thanks for the comments peeps, I know which traits to develop :) Seriously, it's nice to hear.

As for the Singaporeans - well their society is more "cosmopolitan" than ours indeed. I fell for a Singaporean once ;)

[zimdude]

any updates here? well being one of the singles, I hope I qualify as wanted :)

what I want from a girl... hmm... intelligent and empathic..